Loosing the love — Re-posted


As I had promised to Kenika, my friend, she like reading love story books.. I’m going to post her a story that I used to post for few years ago… I found it from achieve old blogging yesterday.. my first extracted edition story and my last one.. I have planned to write another story about Cambodia and life, though I’ve been searching for reasons and some helpful materials to support my writing to go future… now I’m stuck in a small lonely room… will buzz you when my second book get published
I think, it’s not a love story, but it’s a story about love… LOOSING THE LOVE, some readers popping up to correct the spelling of the story… no, no,no… I wanted to make a different, it’s a different of spelling and story lines :

LOOSING THE LOVE


********** PART 1 **********

July 25, 1999
My name is Chan Lida. I’m 19, still be youth I am dying. Not right now but my eyes are slowly fading away because my teardrops keep rolling down every single night as I’m writing A story, THE STORY OF A MISERY.

At this moment I’m sitting on the sand at Ou Chhuer Teal beach looking to the long stretch of the sea and asking myself will my love comes back? Mine and Pin Sun Won, is the first love of my life. The sun is slowly beginning to set over the sea. We can see how deep of the sea but cant see the mans heart.

I took a glance at my reflection in the water. My outside looks have changed drastically within the past few months, but the water reflected the true me. Inside I’m still the same person. I have done and given so much for love but never once, have I received it back from Sun Won.

There are times that I wanted to tell him everything that I’ve done for him and make him, love me back. But I cant. Love is not selfish, love is patient, love is generous, love is never boast, love is fully forgiven, love is fully believe and persevere everything. Since the day you went away the weather changes, I lived in a miserable life. It was completely disappointed and depressed during the hell times passed by I died since then.

No more Lida in this world. It was raining and also rain now, raining in my heart. Raindrops keep falling down on the street, but my eyes soon turning red. Crying not for me, but I can felt salty POURING RAIN keep rolling down on my pale cheek, is it the raindrops? Of course these raindrops keep falling down once I am thinking of someone.

Eventhought, I still can’t stop the rain by complaining. I complain no more, because the farmer will complain me if I’m gonna complain the rain.

Life can never be exactly like we want it to be. I can be satisfied, just knowing that I still be some where in his heart. So I did what felt right. I keep giving Sun Won my love and I never asked for his love in return. Although, I’ll leave this world pretty soon, my love for him will still remain.

As a matter of fact, my body changed but my feeling remains. My love to you will never change. My story begins when I first met Sun Won six years ago on this one fateful day. It all started out…

********** PART 2 **********
*Whack whack whack.*

I cried out in pain but I knew that no one is going to hear my cries. I desperately began to gasp for air. My heart was aching again. I couldn’t breathe.

“Not again! Don’t you see how much you’re costing your father and me with your heart problems? If it wasn’t for all these medical bills we wouldn’t be so poor now!”

I had this heart condition where air would suddenly shut off and I couldn’t breathe. The doctors are trying to save me by giving me a respirator and pills, but they’re not sure how much longer I’ll be able to live. My dad (who was a pathetic excuse for a man) came in. He looked down at me with sorrowful eyes. He held my step mom’s arm lightly and said,

“I think she had enough. You don’t want her to have another attack. Calm down and let’s have dinner.”

“That’s why I’m hitting her!” she yelled. “She got detention and stayed after school for an hour. She was supposed to be home to go buy food for dinner and make it. Your daughter is so evil. She wants me to starve or something!”

“I didn’t get detention. The teacher wanted to talk to me about—“ But I was cut off by the whack of my step mom’s stick. I cried silently in pain and turned away.
I am remind of a poem that I often hear everything single night….

If you come as softly
as the wind between the trees
you may hear what I hear
see what sorrow sees
and if you come I will be silent
and speak no words to you
I will not ask you anything
about why or what you do
we shall sit here silently
beneath two different years
and the rich earth between us
shall drink our silent tears.

But I was cut off by the evil of my step mom’s voice..
I didn’t want to look at her. My dad said,
“Well, dinner’s just going to be a little late today. Lida, say sorry to your mom.”

Despite the pain, I managed to say, “Sorry mom. Please forgive me.” My dad handed me some money.

“Here. Go buy food to make chicken curry tonight.”

My step mom’s temper simmered down a little as my dad leads her out of my room. I picked up the money and headed for the store.

Mr. Sothea, the owner of Lucky Super Market, shook his head as I walked in. He knew what kind of hell I was going through. I finished my shopping and checked out.
“That will be $4.49.”

“What?” I asked. “ Umm…Mr. Sothea.
That’s impossible. With all this stuff it should be around $11.25”
“I know Lida.” Mr. Sothea gave me a sad smile. “The exact price is $14.32”. Why don’t you keep the change for yourself?”

I opened my mouth in shock. “Mr. Sothea…I…I can’t do that,” I said as I handed him $15. He only took five. “No. Keep it. I know that step mom of yours DOESN’T give you any money.”

I looked up at Mr. Sothea with tears in my eyes. Here he was, just a friend reaching out to me. I said thanks and headed for home.

********** PART 3 **********
I decided to take a shortcut home but as I passed the alley, a hand pulled me in. I was knocked to the ground and a shadow hovered over me. I began to scream but the same hand covered my mouth.

“Shut up or I’ll kill you!” I shut my mouth instantly. I didn’t want to die yet. In the moon’s reflection I got a good look of my attacker. It was a boy who looked a little bit older than me. His face and clothes were dirty but he had really good features so I could tell he was extremely good-looking, especially whenever he smiles. Remarkably, He’s got large forehead; everybody would think he’s kindness as well. But this was not a time to think about such things.

He held a table knife at my throat and said, “Give me all your money or I’ll kill you.”

I panicked but I knew what to do. I used the move I wanted to use on my step mom every time she pinned me down and hit me. I kicked him hard right into his family jewels. He gasped and fell to the floor, dropping the knife. I picked up my groceries and ran. I guess you can call me the dumbest person alive. I was afraid I had kicked the boy too hard and permanently damaged him. Besides, since my life is hell already, I didn’t want him to go through it too. So I turned back. When I came back to the alley, the boy was still lying on the floor. He was moaning softly. I lifted him up gently.

“Are you okay?” I asked. He shook his head no.
“I’m sorry,” I said to him. I reached into my pocket and pulled the money Mr. Sothea gave me. “If you need money, then here. All I have is $10.” I placed the money in his hand and walked away. He looked at me with this weird expression that I couldn’t read. I picked up my groceries and this time I left without turning back. I could tell the boy was watching me as I was walking away…

********** PART 4 **********
Sun Won stared at the girl who had just walked away. ‘She must be the nicest or dumbest person in this world,’ he thought. He began to stand up but had to use the wall for balance. That girl had kicked him a little too hard. Sun Won had just run away from home again. He had run away so many times that the alley was his second home. When he ran away he always stole his parents’ money. They were the richest people in all of Phnom Penh but they were also the most messed up family. His dad would have a lot of women with him and would betray a friend if it would bring him money. His mom, on the other hand, was an exact duplicate of his dad. She always had these young men around her and spends money like crazy. His parents were divorced and lived on opposite ends of Phnom Penh. ‘*Chhkout (crazy)* and bastard,’ thought Sun Won. When he ran away this time, he didn’t have the chance to steal any money from his dad. So he had no choice but to rob somebody.

When he saw the young girl walking out of the store, she seemed to be the perfect target. But things didn’t turn out as planned. Sun Won kept wondering why the girl gave him the money even though he could have killed her. Sun Won knew he couldn’t take the money because she was the first person in his messed up life that was nice to him because she wanted to be, not because she wanted something from him. He wanted to give the money back. When he gained some of his strength back, he began to chase her…

********** PART 5 **********
When I came home, I was greeted by the usual words. ‘Ugly wretch, wicked girl, free loader, etc.’ but luckily I made it through dinner fine. When dinner ended, my parents went to sleep leaving me with the dishes.
When I cleaned the table and washed the dishes. I also took out the trash and then suddenly I felt someone grab me from behind. My attacker turned me around to face him. It was the same boy I met in the alley. I began to panic.

“I gave you all my money already! What more do you want from me?” He raised a finger to his lips and tried to shush me. I felt one of my attacks coming on. I started to hyperventilate and couldn’t breathe. I was beginning to black out. Sun Won looked at the girl who looked like she was going to die.

“Oh my God! Are you okay?” This time it was the girl’s turn to shake her head no. Then she collapsed in his arms. Sun Won didn’t know what to do but he had to save her life. He began to give her mouth to mouth. “Come on,” he whispered to her.

“Breathe. Don’t die on me.”

After a while she began coughing and opened her eyes. I opened my eyes and saw a blurry object heading towards me. Then I felt something soft pressing against my lips and I felt a gust of air. Then I realized the boy was giving me air. I couldn’t believe what was happening. I blushed and gently pushed him away.

“Thank you for saving me. I’m okay now.
” The boy turned slightly red. “Uhh…you’re welcome.
“You kinda scared me there”.
“Sorry about that”.
“Well, what is it that you want from me?”
“Here.” He handed me back the same ten dollars I had given him.

I looked up at him. “No, it’s okay. Keep it. I think you need it or you wouldn’t have tried to rob me.

” He shook his head. “No. I just wanted to borrow it only. I don’t take charity. Well, goodbye.

Just as he walked away, I heard his stomach grumble. I bit my tongue so I wouldn’t laugh. Since he didn’t take charity, I said,

“Um, hey. I just made some food and I don’t know if it’s good or not. I need a guinea pig because I don’t want to serve it to my parents if it isn’t and besides, you did save my life. Sun Won looked at her. ‘Why is she being so nice to me?’ he thought. He knew she was just saying that because she heard him say he doesn’t want charity. Sun Won’s stomach was growling like crazy. He hasn’t eaten for 2 days already and the mention of food was killing him.

“Uh, okay. I guess I’ll be your guinea pig since I have nothing to do. ”He studied her face as she smiled at him. ‘She’s pretty,’ he thought as he smiled back.

********** PART 6 **********
I let the boy wait outside as I got some of the leftover for him. He finished it in less than a minute. Then he leaned back and sighed. Out of nowhere, he let out a burp. I had to giggle.
He looked at me and smiled. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay.” I hesitated before I asked him the next question. “Umm…so what’s your name?”

He glanced at me and then stared at the ground. I could tell he was debating to tell me his real name or not. I didn’t want him to feel obligated to telling me his name.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.
” Sun Won looked at her surprised. “No! It isn’t that!” he yelled.

She stared back at him surprised too.
Then he lowered his voice. “I’m sorry. Please don’t misunderstand”.

She nodded her head slowly and Sun Won can tell that she was confused. Sun Won felt that he could trust her and he wanted her to be his friend.

“My name is Pin Sun Won and you are?”

“Chan Lida, but call me Lida. It’s easier to remember” Then she gave him the sweetest smile. Sun Won felt his heart beat a little faster when she smiled at him. He blushed and looks away.
“So uh, how old are you?”

“13,” she replied. “And you Sun Wonee?”

He smiled when she called him that. “I’m 17,” he said turning back to look at her.
“17?” I asked in disbelief.
Sun Won nodded.

“Where is your parents’ Brother? You’re too young to be living in the streets”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I can take care of myself.” I gave him a doubting look because he was trying to pull that tough guy act on me.

“It’s okay though,” he told me. “I have a family. It’s just that things are bad at home so I’m just getting away from it for a while”.
So he ran away, I figured out. I could tell that Sun Won was a good person.

“Do you have a place to stay tonight?”
He shook his head.
“How about staying in my room then,” I offered.
Sun Won couldn’t believe his ears. He stared at Lida. ‘Did she just offer him a place to stay?’
“Sun Won?” Lida asked as she waved a hand in front of his face. “Are you okay?”
Sun Won shook his head and snapped out of it. She placed her hand on his knee.
“Brother, I asked if you want to stay in my room for tonight.”
Sun Won was so touched that he felt his heartache. No one had ever cared about him so much but he didn’t want to feel as though he owed her. “No thanks.”
Lida looked at him with her big sad eyes. “Please Brother? I’m afraid of the dark.”

Sun Won smiled. He knew she was lying so he would say yes. For the first time in his life, Sun Won felt warm inside because now he is wanted. He let out a sigh. “Ban na Lida, okay. You walked me into it. But just for tonight though.” She giggled and nodded.
“Okay.”

********** PART 7 **********
Silently, I led Sun Won into my room. My room was small and luckily, it was far away from my parents so they can’t hear much. I let Sun Won have the bed while I take the floor. ‘Damn,’ I thought. ‘Why does the floor have to be so cold and hard?’ Sun Won stared down at Lida who was trying to sleep on the cold stone floor. He picked her up easily and lifted her onto the bed.
“Brother? What are you doing?” I whispered as my eyes grew wide.
“Do you trust me?” he asked.
I nodded my head slowly.
“Good,” he said. “This bed is small but it’ll fit both of us.”
My eyes grew wider at what Sun Won had just said. But I had just told him that I trust him. I couldn’t take my words back so I had no Choice but to sleep with him. We both got in my bed and slept side-by-side. I was so nervous, I couldn’t sleep. Sun Won, on the other hand, had no problem. He fell asleep instantly. I turned my head over to look at him. His face was so innocent like an angel and his smile looked so sweet when he was sleeping. Who would have thought he was such a devil when he’s awake and moving?

An hour had passed and it was 3’ in the morning. I still couldn’t sleep. Suddenly something weird HAPPENS. Sun Won turned his entire body around and did a 360, kicking me. “Ow!” I cried out but covered my mouth so my parents wouldn’t hear me. When he was done, he had this happy look on his face. At first I thought he was just playing with me but he really did do a 360 in his sleep. Suddenly he reached over and held me tight. My entire body went tense and rigid. I could feel Sun Won’s light breathing on my neck. I don’t know why but now that Sun Won was this close (practically laying on top of me) made me feel better. It’s probably because I’ve never been this close to a person in a long time. Soon I began to fall asleep too…

********** PART 8 **********
November 1, 1993
Sun Won opened his eyes and found himself laying partially on Lida’s body. He blushed and slowly moved away from her. Then he just lay near her watching her sleep. Suddenly it caught his eyes. The sleeves and pant legs of her pajamas were lifted up and he got a good look at her arms and legs. Dark purple bruises cover her entire body. There were several scars on her legs and arms too. Red lines run across her legs and it made Sun Won wince because it looked so painful. He didn’t want to disturb Lida but he was really curious. She turned over and Sun Won lifted the back of her shirt. It was even worse than her legs. Sun Won opened his mouth lightly in shock and touched her bare back delicately, fearing that he might hurt her. Lida began to stir. I rubbed my eyes and sat up. I saw Sun Won looking at me with this sad expression on his face.

“What’s wrong Brother?” I asked.
“Who did this to you?” Then he lifted the sleeve of my shirt.
I opened my mouth in shock. I tried to hide it but I couldn’t believe he saw my bruises. As I tried to answer him, I heard my step mom’s footsteps heading towards my room.

“Brother!” I yelled, turning back to Sun Won,
who was rubbing my bruises. “You have to get out of here! My mom is coming!” Sun Won looked at me surprised but I opened my window for him to climb out. “Climb down this tree.

Goodbye Sun Wonee,” I said to him with tears in my eyes. Sun Won remained silent the whole time as he left her room. But he didn’t leave though. He sat on the branch of her tree and looked through her window. He couldn’t hear what Lida and her mom were talking about but he saw it. He saw Lida’s mom bring out a small wooden stick and whack Lida with it several times.

Sun Won couldn’t take it anymore. He busted back into Lida’s room.

********** PART 9 **********
I looked up at my stepmother in pain.
“I’m sorry mom. I didn’t know we’re supposed to have guests today.”

She glared at me with cold hatred in her eyes.
“Mr. Pin, of the Pin Hotel Empire all over Phnom Penh, is coming to visit us. Your father might get a promotion if we make a good impression! You’re supposed to be awake half an hour ago to prepare all of us tea! Now Mr. Pin down there expecting tea! What am I supposed to do now huh?” My step mom began to breathe rapidly as her anger increased. I saw her raise that stick of hers again. I curled myself up hoping the pain would lessen but I know it wouldn’t so I prepared myself for the strike… Sun Won caught the stick just before it would hit Lida. Lida’s mother stared at Sun Won in surprise. Lida opened her eyes and stared at Sun Won in shock. He looked down at her.

“Lida, are you okay?”
“Sun Won!” I screamed. “What are you doing here?”
Sun Won looked back at me. “I came to save you from this evil *Chhkout*(crazy).”

My step mom twisted her face in hate. “I knew you were trouble all this time Lida.

How dare you bring this boy home? Wait until I tell your father about this!”

Sun Won grabbed my step mom’s arm to stop her. “You do that and I’ll have you fired!” I stared at Sun Won dumbfounded.

‘What is he talking about?’
“What are you talking about?!” snapped my step mom.
“I mean,” said Sun Won glaring at her. “That you’re having tea with my father right now and I’ll get you and your husband fired if you hit Lida one more time.”
I look at Sun Won surprised. ‘Sun Won is the heir of the Pin Hotel Empire? His family is the richest in all of Phnom Penh!’ My step mom looked at Sun Won doubtfully.

“If you’re his son, then how come you’re so filthy?”
Sun Won gave her a smirk. “I know you want proof. How about all of us go down there to talk to my dad?” My step mom looked at him and thought, ‘This is the only way for real evidence. He might get us a promotion.

’ Then she said, “Come on then, boy. Let’s go.”

********** PART 10 **********
All three of us came downstairs together. Sun Won had to help me down because my legs were too weak to support me. Sun Won helped me sit on the couch and he faced the strange man before me. Mr. Pin glared at Sun Won.
“Hi dad,” said Sun Won.

“Where the hell have you been Sun Won?” shouted Mr. Pin.
My family just watched them yell at each other. Sun Won shrugged his shoulders.

“Around.”
It made Mr. Pin really mad but he never hits Sun Won. He continued yelling. Sun Won didn’t really listen and after a while he cut his dad off.

“Look dad, shut up about it already and we’ll talk about it at home.” ‘Sure,’ I thought. ‘I could never talk to my parents like that.’

Mr. Pin shuts up. “Okay son, we’ll talk about it at home.” Then Sun Won gestured his hand at my entire family. “The Chans were nice enough to let me stay at their house. You owe them dad.”
Mr. Pin nodded. “Fine. Sovath and SOPHEA, you two just got a raise.”

My step mom got so excited. “Thank you Mr. Pin!”
“Come on Sun Won,” said Mr. Pin. “Let’s go home. And have that talk.”

Sun Won brushed his dad’s hand ff his shoulder. “Later dad. I’ll be home in an hour.”
His father glared at him.
Sun Won glared back. “I said one hour.”
Mr. Pin knew Sun Won was stubborn. So he agreed. “Fine then. One hour.” After Mr. Pin left Sun Won talked to my parents.

“Listen here,” he said as he sat down next to me. “I can get you hired and fired just like that.” And he snapped his fingers.
“We know, we know,” said my step mom sweetly, pouring Sun Won some tea. Sun Won didn’t drink it.

“All I want is for you two do not touch Lida anymore. If I see another bruise on her, you know the consequences. Sun Won held my hand the entire time he spoke with my parents. I felt strange warmth going through me and I knew that right then and there that I was falling in love with Pin Sun Won. My dad remained quiet while my stepmother talked. “Of course Sun Won.”

Sun Won rolled his eyes. “Okay, and I’ll make sure you keep your promise.” Then Sun Won turned to face me. “Come on, let’s go.”

“What?” I asked confused.
“Go to my house with me.”
“Go go!” said my step mom pushing me towards Sun Won. “Have fun kids and stay out as long as you like.” I knew my step mom was really ticked off but she was playing it off pretty well.

********** PART 11 **********
Sun Won continued holding my hand and never once did he let it go. The walk to his house took us 15 minutes and I was enjoying every minute of it. When we reached his house, Sun Won let out a sigh.

“Lida,” he said softly. “Just stay quiet and let me do the talking okay?” I nodded my head and we entered his house. His house was huge! I felt as though I’m a peasant walking through a castle. He even had a few maids and butlers who attended us. Sun Won led me to his room. It was nice and clean but there were a lot of holes all around his walls. I sat down on his bed as he went into the bathroom to take a quick shower. When he was done, he came out and sat next to me, holding my hand. I really am in love.

“Sun Won, how come your walls have a lot of holes?” He shrugged his shoulders and I massaged it for him. As he relaxed,
he answered me. “Oh, it’s because I fight with my parents a lot so I take it out on the walls.” Judging by the holes, I can tell that he was really angry every time he made one.

“Come on,” he said. He lifted me up on his back and gave me a piggy back ride downstairs. He smelled so good now that he’s clean and fresh. His dad was waiting for him in the den. I waited outside while Sun Won came into face his dad. Sun Won came in, uninterested in what his dad had to say.

“What is it dad?”
“Sun Won, son…this is getting to be very tiring. Every few weeks you would run away, leaving me and your mother worrying about you.

” Sun Won smirked. “Sure you’re worried. That’s why you’re out with those hoes and mom’s out with those morons. It’s because I’m your only son. You’re just scared that when grandpa passes away he won’t put our family on the will.”

His father got angry. “Well do you want it to end up on your uncle’s side?” Sun Won gave his dad a look that showed he didn’t care. His dad continued talking. “Since I managed to have a son and my brother has no kids, I have the advantage. Son, listen to me. You know you’re my heir. All my wealth will be passing down to you.”

Sun Won looked at his dad disgusted. “All you care about is money! You don’t care about me!” he yelled as he stormed out of the den. Sun Won slammed the door open and grabbed my hand. “Come on, let’s go.”

********** PART 12 **********
I was confused and didn’t know what had happened. Sun Won held my hand and took me to the beach near his house. On the sand there were these 2 huge rocks. Sun Won led me over there. He lifted me up and we sat side by side. We remained silent until Sun Won took a deep breath of the ocean air.

“I love this place, don’t you?” he said to me smiling. I returned his smile and held onto his hand tighter.
“Sun Won, what’s wrong?”
Sun Won avoided my eyes. “Nothing.”
I turned his chin to face me. “Come on, you know you can tell me.”
He nodded. “It’s my dad and this stupid feud he has with my uncle. They’re fighting over whom get the larger part in my grandpa’s will.”

“Oh…” I said softly.
“Isn’t it stupid?” he asked laughing. “My grandpa’s not even dead yet!” I understood what was bothering him. So I didn’t say anything because I know he doesn’t want me to worry about it. He threw rock into the ocean and it skipped three times.

“Perfect” he said.
“Why is it perfect?” I asked.
“Age ain’t nothing but a number right?” he asked me, changing the subject. I thought about it for a while and nodded.
“Since I’m older than you by four years, that makes me to be your Brother,” Sun Won said to me.

“Yup,” I answered, smiling. Sun Won smiled back. ‘I love you….’ I felt my heart my heart filled with a bubble of love but then Sun Won continued talking.” as a Brother.” My bubble busted. This was not what I had expected him to say. I stared at Sun Won with wide eyes. I knew it was pretty forward of me but I had to ask. “Why…your….sister?” I managed to stutter out. Sun Won looked back at me with his puppyish eyes and smiled. He nodded his head gently. Have I been reading all his signs wrong?
“So what do you say?” he asked.
“Want to be my Brother?” Even though it was breaking my heart, I had no choice but to agree. I nodded. “Yes, I want to be your sister my Brother.”

“Good,” he said. Sun Won nodded and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a small silver knife. I stared at him with wide eyes.
“Sun Won, what are you going to do with that knife?”
He asked, “Do you trust me Lida?”
I nodded my head without hesitation. I trusted Sun Won with my whole heart.

He smiled at me. “Good. Lower the back of your shirt.” Sun Won pulled the back of my shirt down. Then he used that knife to cut me.

“Ow!” I screamed in pain but he continued anyways. He carved a small ‘S’ onto my shoulder blade. My back was bleeding and he bandaged it for me. Then he handed the knife to me.
“Here. Engrave your initial ‘L’ too due to I don’t want to use the same last name as your mom.” My hand trembled as I held the knife. I didn’t want to hurt Sun Won.

“Go ahead. Don’t worry, I can stand the pain.”
I engraved an ‘L’ onto Sun Won’s back. I was surprised because he didn’t let a tear drop or cry out in pain. I bandaged him and he acted as if nothing had happen. When it was over, he held me close. I held onto Sun Won tightly as if he was going to leave me. I know he only thinks of me as his little Sister but it feels nice holding him like this. As Sun Won held onto Lida, his smiling face instantly turned sad. He wanted to say ‘Lida, I love you as a sweetheart’ so she would be his forever but he couldn’t. He wasn’t the type to admit his feelings. So he figured the scarring was not an engraving of his brotherly love to Lida, but his promised symbol as a soul mate to her forever…

********** PART 13 **********
Years had pass and I’m still with Sun Won. I didn’t think it was possible but I grew more and more in love with Sun Won everyday. We would do a lot of stuff together and we never had any fights. We argue, but it never came to the point where we would get really mad at each other and he usually let me have it my way.

Seng Virak was Sun Won’s other friend and he hangs out with us a lot too. Virak is a little younger than me and is really nice. He has this really cute smile that when he smiles, you can’t help but smile back. I called him ‘Pros saart.’ His family life also isn’t good. His mom has a serious sickness and his dad had passed away when he was young. So usually it was the three of us together. My home life is a lot better thanks to Sun Won. My step mom didn’t dare to touch me anymore and it’s still the same between me and my dad. We don’t talk much. Sun Won’s parents like me a lot too. It’s because when they tell Sun Won to do something and he wouldn’t do it. They would come to me. I’m kind of like their pawn. Life was heaven for me until it completely shattered on day. It started out with good news but who would have known it would end up in tragedy?

March 20, 1996
My step mom and dad came home one day from visiting the Pins. “Guess what?” my step mom told me
Excitedly.

“What?” I asked calmly.
“The Pins are planning a wedding for you and Sun Won!”
I sat down because my knees gave out. This news hit me with total surprise but I was so happy to hear it because I’m so in love with Sun Won.

“Really?” I asked excitedly? “How did this happen?”
“Mr. Pin wanted Sun Won to get married and he figured you’re the girl he should marry.”
“What did Sun Won say?” I had to ask. I didn’t want him to be forced into this.

“Of course he agreed,” she answered. My breathing increased so I took out my respirator. After I calmed down, my step mom took me into her room and told me all about the arrangements. Meanwhile back at the Pin mansion…
“Just because you’re making this wedding for me and Lida doesn’t mean I owe you anything!” Sun Won yelled angrily at his dad. Mr. Pin grabbed Sun Won by the collar of his shirt.
“Sun Won! You listen to me. Once you and Lida get married, your grandpa will give you all of his business. Sharing part of it with your dad isn’t asking for much is it?” Sun Won pushed his dad away. He began to laugh.

“The only two people grandpa will give the business to is me or uncle. He won’t give it to you because you’ll spend it all on those *Chhkout* I bet all your money is gone now.”
It was true. Mr. Pin was in serious debt and he needed Sun Won to get married because Sun Won’s grandpa was going to give Sun Won his inheritance once he gets married. Sun Won had just turned 18 and his dad had planned the marriage months ahead.
His dad got on his knees. “Please son. Please do it for me.”
Sun Won rolled his eyes.

“You’re so pathetic dad.” He sighed. Living with Lida taught him compassion and sympathy for people. “I’ll see what I can do dad.” He went into his room. Just then his cellular phone rang. He picked it up, thinking it was Lida. Using his sexy voice, he whispered, “Hi Lida.” A weird high-pitched giggle came from the other end of the line.

“Ooh…”said the voice. “Hi to you too sexy.”
Sun Won rolled his eyes. “Oh shut up Virak.” Using his real voice.
Virak began to laugh out loud. “Chhkout ning snerha! That’s how you talk to Lida? Ew! It gives me the chills!”
“Hey Virak,” said Sun Won seriously. “Is everything set and ready to go?”
“Yeah Won,” said Virak. “Good,” said Sun Won, smiling. “Meet me at the docks tonight. From there we can sail to the Phnom Penh port and get away from Phnom Penh to start a new life in Korea.”
“Yeah,” said Virak. “But did you tell Lida about it?”
“No,” answered Sun Won, sighing. “I’m afraid she won’t leave her family. I’m planning to just kidnap her and take her along. It’s easier that way and no hassle.”
“Right,” said Virak. “At least the three of us will still be together.”
“Yeah,” said Sun Won. “Meet you in an hour. Get everything ready. I got our money too.”
“Okay,” replied Virak.

“Bye.” Sun Won clicked off his phone. Sun Won’s dad didn’t know it but his grandpa had given him $10 million in advance, along with hotel ownerships in Korea and Phnom Penh as his wedding gift. He planned to leave his dad $5 million and live off the rest with Lida and Virak. He smiled thinking about how he would get away from everything and just be with the one he loved the most, Lida.

********** PART 14 **********
Back at home I was so excited I couldn’t sleep. I know I was still young to be thinking about marriage but I know Sun Won is the only guy for me. I held my teddy bear close as thoughts of Sun Won drifted me to sleep. It was midnight now. Sun Won snuck out of his house quietly without making a noise. He carried his backpack full of money on his back. He planned to go to Lida’s house to grab her and leave. Then it would be just him, Lida, and Virak leaving together. He was almost to Lida’s house when he realized that he was being followed. It was his uncle’s men. They came to get rid of him. Sun Won was smart. He knew the streets too well. He made it through the alley and those men end up losing him. But when Sun Won reached Lida’s house, about 10 men had surrounded her house. They all saw him approaching. Sun Won began to ran as they chased him. He made it to the dock. He saw Virak on the boat.

“Won! Hurry! The boat is leaving!” Sun Won threw his bag onto the boat first and made a high jump. He landed safely onto the boat. His uncle’s men couldn’t chase him anymore. Sun Won and Virak started cheering until Sun Won realized what was missing. Lida. He had left her. Sun Won fell to his knees. “What’s wrong?” asked Virak.

“Lida! We left her! We have to go back!” yelled Sun Won.
Virak opened his mouth in shock because he just realized it too. Then he shook his head sadly.

“We can’t. If we go back, we’ll just get killed and we’ll be putting Lida’s life in danger too.” Sun Won moved away from Virak, knowing that the darkness will cover his face. And for the first time in his life, Sun Won cried.

********** PART 15 **********
I woke up the next morning with this strange feeling inside me. I don’t know why but I find it disturbing. Then I remembered that Sun Won and I, are going to get married soon, it subsided. When I went downstairs, my step mom was holding that wooden stick I haven’t seen in years.

I began to panic. She whacked me with it. I fell down surprised. “Where’s Sun Won?” she screamed at me. I was so confused and surprised I didn’t know what she was talking about. She kept hitting me and telling me to answer her. But how can I answer when I don’t even know myself? Then something unusual happened. My dad grabbed the stick away from my step mom.

“Stop hitting her! Can’t you tell that she can’t think straight through all that pain?” My step mom was shocked and she kept her mouth shut because my dad never did that to her before. “Lida,”
my dad said to me, holding my hand. “Sun Won ran away from home again. He’s no longer in Phnom Penh and the wedding’s canceled.”

“He left?” I asked blankly.
My dad nodded his head sadly.

“How can he leave me?” I asked standing up. My step mom’s next words hit me hard and cold like ice.

“He probably left because he didn’t want to marry you or he love some one else.” I sunk to my knees and fell to the floor. I began to sob to myself. My parents left the room, leaving me alone. ‘How can you leave me without telling me any reason, Sun Won? Were all those promises of taking care of me lies?’ I loved Sun Won so much. All I ever wanted is to be with him, he is my first love and first man in my life, even if he did only consider me as a sister. I needed to know why he left. Being with him all this time, I knew where he went. I’ll search all of Korea if I had to…

One year later…
During this year, my life of hell had return, I did miss him so bad, I cried every night and I couldn’t sleep. I often stayed up late. I always asked myself ‘tell me why, have I done something wrong? why did you play me around, how come you hurt me so? Only god knew how much I love you’ I managed to save up enough money for a ticket to Korea and money to spend. I had to work odd hours so my step mom wouldn’t find out or she’ll take the money from me. I also had to sell some of Sun Won’s gifts to me. He was a really generous brother who would buy me a lot of expensive clothes, jewelry, perfume, and just about anything that I wanted. I figured he wouldn’t mind because they’re just material possessions. They were a big help because I managed to trade them in for a lot of money.
July 25, 1997
I finally had enough money to leave. It took me a while to go because I knew chances are low of finding Sun Won right away. I needed extra money for my search and I had to pay double for a fake I.D. You could say that I have almost everything planned out. I got a pretty good amount so I planned on leaving today.
It’s been a little over a year since Sun Won left me with no reason or explanation. I’ve gotten so much thinner because I couldn’t eat or sleep and I miss him so much. The problem I still had facing me were my parents. I know they were not going to let me leave. I was only 17. Damn. Still a minor. This year had been total hell for me and I can’t stand another year of it. I had to leave and I had a plan. I was going to fake my death. It was all so perfect. My family had to go out to a Kampong Som (Sihanouk ville) with Mr. Pin. He still keeps in touch with us. I guess it’s because he thinks I might know where Sun Won is.

Truth is, I have no idea except I know Sun Won’s somewhere in Korea. I planned to fake a drowning. Because of my heart failure, it helped me close off my air circulation for up to 4 minutes. This time I am using it to let my family think that I have drowned and the tides drifted my body to sea so I will never be found… But before I go I had to say goodbye to my father. I hugged him hard. He looked at me surprised.

“What was that for?” he asked.
I shook my head. “It wasn’t for anything dad. I did it because I love you.

” My dad had tears in his eyes. “I’m so sorry Lida. I’m so worthless as your father.”

“No you’re not but you have to do what’s right dad. Don’t let anyone stop you and stop putting yourself down.”
He nodded his head. I hugged him for the last time.

“I’m going for a swim okay?” He nodded his head and watched me head toward the ocean. The plan went perfect. I stayed underwater for a while and swam myself to the other side of the beach where they couldn’t see me. All my belongings were there. I got on the dock and sailed to the Kampong Som port leaving Phnom Penh forever…

********** PART 16 **********
[Seoul, Korea]
August 15, 1997

Sun Won traced the ‘L’ scar on his back. ‘Damn,’ he thought. ‘I miss Lida so much.’ He sent out one of his men to retrieve news about her and if they could, get her here to him in Korea.

Sun Won had it all Money and power. The only thing that was missing was Lida. So much had happened to Sun Won as he remembered back. Sun Won and Virak made it to Seoul, Korea. With Sun Won’s leadership skills and Virak’s smooth talking, they end up getting a lot of businesses and putting others of out business. Money was not enough for Sun Won. He needed power so he created Bong thom, where he was the leader and Virak was his 2nd-in command. He and Virak managed to eliminate the group Quicksilver on their own and gained the respect and loyalty of the two members Kim Jae Duc and Lee Jae Sunn.

Along the way, they found Ko Sun Yong and Jang Su Won wandering the streets. Sun Yong proved to be a genius and Su Won was handy in finding information. Sun Won knew they were enough. They had hundreds of men under them but Bong thom were the main leaders with Sun Won as the head. They committed a lot of crimes but no evidence was ever found to convict them. Just then there was a knock on his door, interrupting his thoughts.

“Come in,” said Sun Won.
Jang Su Won came in. “I have news for you, boss,” he said.
“Well what is it? What did you find out about Lida?” Sun Won asked.

Su Won looked down and hesitated to reply. “I’m afraid it’s bad news.”
Those words made Sun Won panic. “Jang Su Won, you answer me now!” yelled Sun Won with rage. Sun Won’s yell scared Su Won so he blurted it out.

“Chan Lida is dead. She drowned while she was swimming in the ocean. Her body has not been found and is still missing.”
Sun Won fell back in his seat in shock. ‘Lida’s dead? No, anyone but not Lida,’ he thought. Su Won knew it was a good time to leave so he left Sun Won in his office.

“Lida!” Sun Won screamed out of his window in pain. His cries echoed throughout the city of Seoul.

********** PART 17 **********
I finally made it to Chejudo, Korea. I didn’t know where to look for Sun Won so anywhere was fine. I was never a lucky person. I couldn’t find any signs of Sun Won there so I traveled to Inchun City. My search for Sun Won continued for another year. During that time I had traveled to many cities like Guam, Pusan, etc. It must have been a gift from God because one day my search was over…

November 21, 1998
I had just finished my overtime shift at the Chan Sunway Hotel. It was pretty ironic because my whole family spent their lives working for hotels and here is the biggest one in all of Seoul with our family name. I went into the worker’s lounge to take a break and pour myself some tea. I sat down and read the headlines.

‘Bong thom is to open a conference broadcasting live on Channel 6 today’ I rolled my eyes. Not them again. They were the notorious mafia lead by Lonely man Pin. I shuddered. I can’t believe the leader has the same last name as my beloved Sun Won. Actually 6 Bong thom guys was composed of 6 leaders. They committed a lot of crimes and were always challenging the authorities. They had a lot of power and no one could take their pictures without their consent but a lot of people know what they look like. I didn’t care. I was too busy looking for Sun Won to notice them. A worker with me named Chea Sokunthea came in. “Hey,” she said, patting me lightly on the knee. “On break?” I took a sip and nodded.

“Me too,” she said smiling. I smiled back at her. So kunthea was actually one of the nicest, kindness, and beautiful girl at the hotel. She was younger than me 3 years old. Most of them were cold and just worried about how much tips they can get. Sokunthea picked up the TV remote and turned to Channel 6.

“Hey Lida, there’s supposed to be showing 6 Bong thom guys today. Wonder what they look like. I nodded and watched with her. When the clock struck 9, I felt my heart had stopped and it was not from my heart failure either. I stared at the face that was giving a *Chhkout* smile to the camera. Sun Won. Slowly the camera pulled out revealing the other 5 members. I recognized Virak. He and Sun Won looked completely different but I still recognized them. Sun Won had his hair dyed completely blonde while Virak’s was streaked.

Sokunthea and I watched them in silence as they began to talk. Sun Won and the others introduced themselves. Then the camera showed directly at Sun Won. To most people he would look like an evil gang leader but in my eyes he was a beautiful angel. If it was ever possible, Sun Won was even finer than before.

“Lida, are you okay?” asked SoKunthea, as she waved a hand in front of my face.
“Huh?” I asked looking at her. “Oh, I’m fine. Just listening to what they have to say.” I pointed to Sun Won on the screen. “Who is he?”

“That’s Lonely man Pin,” she answered me. I stared at Sun Won some more. He had changed his name and so did Virak. No wonder I couldn’t find them. Sokunthea caught me staring so she smiled at me.

“The leader is cute huh?”
I blushed. “Yeah.”
“Too bad in real life he’s such a jerk.”
“He is not!” I yelled at her.
Sokunthea scooted her seat back in shock.
I apologized right away. “Sorry So Kunthea, I didn’t mean to yell at you.”
She had a confused look on her face but she said, “Uh, it’s okay Lida.”

I pulled a finger to my lips. “Shh…let’s listen to what they have to say…”

Sun Won began talking. “This is Bong thom speaking to all you losers out there watching us. We just want to say that we’re open to hire new ‘employees’. We usually travel around to our many hotels but you’ll find us if you have the right connections. Also words to the police of Korea. Why are you picking on us? “ Sun Won asked sarcastically. “We’re good, law-abiding citizens.” Sun Won folded his hands together and gave a little bow. Then all of the Bong thom leaders started laughing.

“Oh… my goodness! Look at him!” yelled Sokunthea and pointed to Virak on the T. V. screen. “Look at that stupid smile and that perverted laugh. hahaha…” So kunthea made a poor impression of Virak’s laugh and it made me laugh. hahaha, I thought. Virak would kill her if he knew she made fun of his trademark smile. The show ended a little too soon for me but Sun Won did say he was visiting many hotels and mine is the biggest one. He has to come here. I went back to work and waited for him to come.

********** PART 18 **********

Sun Won entered the main doors of the Chan Sunway Hotel and headed towards the lobby. He let out a sigh. When in the hotel brought back to him a lot of memories. He remembered how he would take Lida to the hotels to trash it or slide down the long stairway banisters. But those carefree days are over. His only love had died and he no longer has the heart to love anyone else. Ever since the news of Lida’s death, Sun Won began to develop a passion for anything he thinks is related to her. Things like her hairbrush, the same type of lip gloss she uses, her little respirator, etc. There are times when he had to give her mouth to mouth if the respirator wasn’t around. Sun Won smiled remembering that she had told him that he was her first kiss.

Lida never went out with any guys so it made him really happy but he also found it very strange and he often suspected her in the wrong way. He didn’t want to give her any ideas about dating other guys so he never asked. Sun Won had changed his name to Lonely man. It’s to symbolize that Sun Won died with Lida and Lonely man replaced him. He chose the name Lonely man because of Lida’s initial ‘L’ and if anyone asks, the ‘L’ stands for Lonely man. Virak wanted to change his name to Micky but Sun Won wouldn’t let him. Sun Won only allowed him to change it if it had the letter ‘L’ so Virak ended up changing it to Lovely man instead.

“Hey, Brother! Over here!” shouted Virak. Sun Won looked over at his five friends. He walked over to them and was surprised at what he saw.
“What the hell is this?” he asked angrily. Every single one of them had a girl in each arm.
“What do you guys think you’re doing?” he asked as he strode over to them.

“Come on Brother,” said Jae Duc. “Lighten up.”
“Yeah,” said Jae Sunn. “We worked hard all day and now let’s have a little fun.”

Sun Won rolled his eyes and then he saw two girls wrap their arms around him. He smiled. “Yeah, I guess.” “Alright!” they all shouted. They like it when Sun Won is in a good mood. From where I was standing, I felt as though someone had stabbed me with a knife. Sun Won looked so happy with those 2 girls sitting on both sides of his lap. I stared at my reflection in the hotel mirror. Big, glassy eyes, pale skin, and waist-length black hair. I looked kind of like a ghost. Not much to look at, I thought sighing sadly. Then I felt a tap on my shoulder and I slowly turned around.

********** PART 19 **********

“What are you looking at?” asked SoKunthea.
“Whew”. I let out a sigh of relief. “They’re here,” I whispered to her.
“Who?” she asked, looking over my shoulder.
“Bong thom.” “Oh. So you want to go serve them?”
I shook my head ‘no’ quickly.
Sokunthea laughed. “Okay. Don’t get so worked up, Lida. I’ll do it.” She took a waitress pad and headed over to their table. I remained in the corner watching them.
“Hi, my name is Sokunthea and I’ll be your waitress today. May I take your order?”
All the Bong thom members looked up to the pretty, young girl who just approached them. Instantly Virak made the 2 girls on his lap move. He looked up at SoKunthea, giving her his best smile.

“I don’t know what I want for dinner, but you want to be my dessert?”
The other 5 Bong thom members laughed while SoKunthea rolled her eyes. “That’s so cute. Must have took you all day to think up that one huh?”
“Ooh,” shouted Sun Yong. “This one has a mouth.”
Virak just smiled. “Feisty. I like it.” Then he pinched SoKunthea’s side playfully.
She moved away, glaring. “Hey don’t touch me!”
“Come on babe. Go out with me. I’ll show you a good time.”
“Hell no!” Sokunthea shouted back in his face. Then Sun Won stood up.

“Don’t talk to my friend like that,” he said in a low threatening voice. “Or else I’ll have you fired.” Sun Won’s glare made Sokunthea move back a little bit but she answered back anyways.
“You can’t fire me! I quit!” She handed Jae Sunn her apron and pad and stomped over to me in the dark corner.
“Stupid, lousy jerks,” she whispered to me.
“I know,” I whispered back, patting her shoulder. Suddenly, I caught Sun Won staring at me. I didn’t know what to say or do so I just left.

********** PART 20 **********

Sun Won stared at the girl who was talking to SoKunthea. ‘She looks like Lida,’ he thought. ‘But can’t be.’
“Brother,” said Virak. “What are you looking at?”
“Her,” said Sun Won, pointing in So Kunthea’s and Lida’s direction.

“You like my waitress too?” asked Virak, pouting.
“No,” said Sun Won, shaking his head. “Her friend. Doesn’t she look like Lida?”
Virak glanced at the person Sun Won was pointing to and watched her walk away.

“No…” said Virak slowly. “That girl’s hair is much longer and Lida has a nicer body. That chick looks like a stick.”
Sun Won made *Chhkout* an eyebrow at Virak. “How do you know Lida have a nice body?”
Virak’s eyes widened. “I don’t know… just guessing. Sun Yong’s calling me. I’ll go see what he wants,” Virak said quickly and ran over to Sun Yong right away. Sun Won began to chase the girl who just left. I heard some footsteps following behind me. I quickly turned a corner and entered my room. Sun Won ran after her as fast as he could. He saw the girl turn a corner and he continued chasing her. He saw a figure up ahead and he grabbed her by the shoulder. When the girl turned around, she had a surprised expression on her face. “What do you want?”
Sun Won looked at the strange girl. She looked nothing like Lida. ‘WRONG person.’ The girl walked way. Sun Won sighed. ‘Maybe it’s because I miss Lida so much that I’m beginning to see her.’ He began to walk back to the lobby, disappointedly. From my hotel room, I was watching Sun Won with the little hole in the door. I saw him pat a girl and then walk away with him head bowed down. I went over and sat down on my bed. I let out a sigh. Sun Won doesn’t miss me. He has too many girls with him already. He love someone else not me exactly. He probably forgot who I am by now. Tears fell down my face and I didn’t even realize it. I quickly wiped them away. I wanted to tell myself that I hate Sun Won but I couldn’t because then I’d just be lying ‘I do love him’. There was only one thing left for me to do. I stood in front of my bathroom mirror. I can’t be with Sun Won as Lida, but I wanted to be by his side to watch over him. I thought about it for a while and remembered they were recruiting new members for Black Bong thom. I looked at myself.

Hmm…if my hair is short and put into a cap, I wear sunglasses more, darken my skin with make-up, and lower my voice…I can pass for a guy. So I did it. Within an hour, I had transformed myself into a guy. I checked myself over. As a guy, I didn’t look too bad. I smoothed out my new short hair and tucked it into a cap. Guys wear earrings too so I didn’t have to worry about my earring holes. I wore a couple of T-shirts under my flannel and 2 pairs of boxers under my baggy jeans so I would fill out more and wouldn’t look so scrawny. I checked my make-up, making sure I was well-covered. I put my sunglasses on. Perfect, I thought. Now all I have to do is, having to pass the test to join the gang.

********** PART 21 **********

Sun Won walked down the aisle looking at the 5 new candidates. He nods his head as he studied them. “Pretty good,” he said to them. “Alright,” he clapped his hands for attention. “All of you know how it’s done. Jae Sunn and Jae Duc will jump each of you in. If you’re still standing after 5 minutes, then welcome to Bong thom.” Only 2 of the 5 guys lasted when Jae Sunn and Jae Duc were done beating them up.“Okay,” said Virak. The two newest members to join is-“
“Wait!” shouted a voice, interrupting Virak. Everyone looked over to see who it was. Sun Won stared at the young boy who was walking towards them. ‘What the hell? Damn! This kid looks like Lida!’ he thought. ‘I must be losing it. How come I keep seeing her today?’ Virak looked at the new boy curiously.

“Yes? What do you want little man?”
I looked at Virak. Gosh he developed an attitude, I thought. I took a deep breath. This is it. “I want to join Bong thom.” A guy I recognized as Jang Su Won busted out laughing. He placed his hand on top of my head. “You? How old are you boy? 15? 16? And how tall are you now? 5’?”

I moved his hand for him. “No. I’m 18 and I’m not 5’, I’m 5’3.” That made all the other members laughs, except Sun Won. I looked at him curiously and realized he was checking me out. Oh no, I thought. Please don’t recognize me. Sun Won held up his hand for the others to stop laughing.

“Hey, if he wants a chance, then we’ll give it to him.” Then he turned to face me. I felt my heart thumping loud and prayed he couldn’t hear it. He placed his hand on my shoulder. Dang, he smells good, I thought as I tried to suppress a smile.

“Look kid,” said Sun Won to me. “You have to be jumped in to join. These 2 guys (pointing to Jae Sunn and Jae Duc) will kick the crap out of you for 5 minutes. If you’re still standing, you’re in.” I nodded my head. I knew I had to last because I’m doing it all for Sun Won. I stood there as Jae Duc and Jae Sunn began to hit me. Jae Sunn threw the first punch and it gave me instant pain. He’s even stronger than my step mom, I thought. Jae Duc kicked me and I was knocked to the ground but I kept pulling myself up. Sun Won looked at the helpless boy who was struggling to stand up. He doesn’t understand why but when he looks at the boy, images of Lida replaced him. Right now in his eyes, it looked like it was Lida being beaten up by Jae Sunn and Jae Duc. He couldn’t help it.

“Stay down!” he yelled to the boy. Everyone stared at Sun Won. Both Jae Sunn and Jae Duc stopped hitting the boy because they were surprised Sun Won was being nice out of nowhere. I heard Sun Won yelling for me to stay down. My ears listened but my legs wouldn’t. I refused to stay down. No matter how many times they hit me or how hard, I managed to get up. Finally 5 minutes was over and I was still standing.
“Am I in?” I asked in a weak voice. I saw Sun Won staring at me with a surprised expression.

“Yes, you’re in.” he said patting my shoulder. I smiled and fainted into his arms. Sun Won held the boy, surprised. He realized the boy had fainted. Usually he would have let go if someone fainted on him, but this time he held on tight. The other 5 Bong thom members looked and the 2 new recruits looked at Sun Won with queried eyes.
“Uh, Brother,” said Virak, as he patted Sun Won on the shoulder.
“What?” asked Sun Won, as he continued holding the boy.
“What should we do about the new recruits?”
“Give them instructions and show them to their rooms. We’ll have a meeting tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
They all left but once in a while, they all would glance back looking at Sun Won, who was carrying the boy in the other direction.

********** Part 22 **********

Slowly I began to regain my consciousness and I woke up. I looked around and realized I was in the biggest room in the Chan Sunway Hotel. The Presidential Suite. ‘What am I doing in here?’ I asked myself. Then suddenly the chair in front of me spun around. Sun Won was sitting in it. I stared at him with wide eyes. I started to panic because I was all alone with him in the room. Sun Won gave me a sideways glance. “You okay?” he asked. I nodded my head. Sun Won got up out of his seat and walked towards me. He sat down on the bed next to me and looked at me straight in the eyes.

“So what’s your name?” he asked.
“Li—“ I began but instantly cut myself off. ‘Stupid, I thought to myself. You almost said your real name!’ I saw Sun Won’s eyes grow wide.

“What did you say your name was?”
“Liday,” I answered him quickly.
“Oh,” he said and backed away from me. Sun Won stood up and walked towards the window, looking outside. He knew the new recruit was a boy but somewhere inside he wished MS would say his name was Lida. He let out a sigh.

“There’s a meeting tomorrow. Be there okay?” I looked at Sun Won with his back facing me. It had only been 2 years but I felt as though I couldn’t read what was going on in his mind anymore. I let out a sigh myself.

“Sun Won, where do we meet later tomorrow?” The call of his real name made Sun Won suddenly look up. He ran over to where Liday was sitting and grabbed him by his shoulders.

“How do you know my real Cambodian name? No one knows me by that. Everyone calls me Lonely man.” Oh no, I thought. I had completely forgotten that Sun Won had changed his name to Lonely man but I thought fast. “I didn’t know your name as Sun Won. All I said was,
‘Mr Lonely man, wanna go out later tomorrow?’” I felt Sun Won’s grip on me loosen. He had bought the story. When he wasn’t looking, I let out a sigh of relief. ‘I’m losing it,’ thought Sun Won.

“We’ll meet in the main dining room tomorrow,” Sun Won told Liday. He nodded his head and left. Sun Won walked out to the balcony and looked up at the sky. ‘I love you Lida, that’s why it hurts so much that you’re not here.’ But the real Lida had left before she could have heard those words.

********** PART 23 **********

Meanwhile back in the hotel lobby…
After Virak and the others gave the new recruits instructions and about the meeting, they all went back to their rooms.
“You think there’s something wrong with brother Lonely man?” asked Jae Sunn.

“Yeah,” said Jae Duc.
“Did you see the way he held the new guy?” They began to shudder.
“No, it’s nothing,” answered Virak.
“You think maybe Lonely man is gay?” asked Sun Yong.
“You’re the one who looks gay,” said Jae Duc, jokingly.
“Shut up!” yelled Sun Yong as he punched Jae Duc lightly. The others began to laugh. Then Su Won said, “Could be though. I never saw him ‘be’ with a girl before.”
Virak lets out a sigh. “Okay, I’ll tell you guys the real deal. But don’t let this get back to Lonely man okay?” They all nodded and leaned forward to hear the story.
“It was like 5 years ago when brother Lonely man met this girl named Chan Lida….”
“She a babe?” asked Jae Duc, interrupting.
Virak gave him a look. “Yes, Duc-ee, she’s a babe.”
“Oh, okay,” said Jae Duc.
“Continue.” “Anyways, Lonely man knew her before he met me. It turns out that she was the first person who ever really cared about him and Lonely man fell in love with her. But you know how brother is. He could never tell anyone exactly what’s on his mind or how he feels. Instead of saying he wants Lida to be his girlfriend, he said he wants her to be his sister“
“That’s stupid!” yelled Jae Duc,
interrupting Virak. “Why he say that for? She’s a babe!”
“Sh..!” yelled Jae Sunn, Sun Yong, and Su Won at Jae Duc.
Virak continued. “Well, Lonely man ended up having this blood ceremony with her. They scarred each other’s back with their initial. It looks like a blood tie but later on I found out it was his symbol of promised love-“

“Ow…that must have hurt,” said Jae Duc, as he hugged himself. Jae Sunn smacked him on the head for interrupting again.
“I think they knew each other for a year before they met me. At first I thought Lida was cute, but then by the way Lonely man acts, I can tell she was off limits. See, Lida had this heart condition where air would suddenly be closed off and she couldn’t breathe. The only way to get air in was by this respirator-“
“The one brother always CARRIES?” asked Jae Duc.
“Yes Duc-ee,” said Virak, rolling his eyes. “Anyways, it was either that or mouth to mouth. Once when Lonely man went collecting shells for Lida, I was walking along the shores with her. One of her attacks came on. I freaked out of course, but I knew what to do. I laid her down and I was about to give her CPR but then brother Lonely man ran the speed of light and knocked me into the ocean and he gave her CPR.” The others started laughing.

“Dang, ain’t he a Romeo?” said Jae Duc, laughing.
Virak smiled. “It’s because he loves Lida and didn’t want any other guy touching her. I mean, during school, if any guy talks about wanting to date her, Lonely man made sure he disagree. Oh yeah, brother LONELY MAN HASN’T always been Lonely man. His real name is Sun Won. The ‘L’ scar on his back stands for Lida, not Lonely man.” The others opened their mouths in shock. They never knew Sun Won had been this much in love before.

“How romantic,” whispered Jae Duc.
“Shut up Brother,” said Sun Yong.
“Quit interrupting!”
“Okay, okay,” said Jae Duc, blocking him self from Jae Sunn’s hand. Virak began talking.
“If there are no more interruptions, then I’ll continue.” He paused for a second and then continued.
“The day before brother Lonely man and I made it to Korea, he and Lida were supposed to get married.

Brother Lonely man didn’t like his dad and there was this feud in their family on who gets the grandpa’s inheritance. Brother Lonely man got it, of course, and he took it all and left Phnom Penh. He took me and he was planning on taking Lida too. When he went to her house though, his uncle’s men were guarding the place and he couldn’t take her. He ended up leaving Phnom Penh without saying goodbye to Lida.” All of them remained silent. Then Su Won spoke.

“Last year Brother sent me out to get some news on Chan Lida. She had died drowning.”
Virak nodded. “Yeah but brother Lonely man and I think she committed suicide. He thinks it’s because Lida can’t handle living with her step mom, who always abuse her. If you ask me, I think Lida committed suicide because brother Lonely man left her without any reason. I think Brother thinks that too but he won’t say it. I think he blames himself for her death and since then he hasn’t been the same. He used to be nicer and not this touchy. Also that’s why he’s never been with another girl. I mean, we see him flirt with other girls but none of us actually see him ‘be’ with another girl right?” The others nodded in agreement. Virak continued. “About this new boy today. I think brother Lonely man is losing it. He probably thinks when he sees the boy he is see-“ Virak stopped talking as he looked up. He finished his sentence with a “–See you later!” and he ran off.

********** PART 24 **********

The others looked up surprised. Jae Sunn smacked Jae Duc on his head.
“What?” asked Jae Duc.
“I didn’t interrupt!”
“It’s not Duc-ee’s fault,” said Sun Yong. “Look.” Sun Yong pointed to where Virak ran off too.
“Oh ho,” said Jae Sunn. “It’s that same waitress babe.”
“See?” said Jae Duc. “It’s cause of a girl, not me. You hit me by mistake.”
“No, it’s not a mistake. I still wanna smack your head because it makes this cool hollow sound,” replied Jae Sunn as he smacked Jae Duc on his head again.
“So, wanna go out sometime?” Virak asked SoKunthea, leaning near her. She rolled her eyes at him. She answered flatly,
“No” and began to leave.
Virak held onto her arm. “Come on babe. X-mas is next month and don’t be a crooge.”
Then suddenly, Sokunthea gave him a seductive smile.
“I guess. How about we go out on November 31 then?” Virak gave her a sexy smile back.
“It’s a date then,” he answered, letting her go. The other 4 walked up to him.
“How’d it go Lovely man?” asked Su Won.
“Hey, hey, what can I say?” answered Virak*Chhkout*.
“I’m the man!” Jae Sunn gave him a high-five.
“Alright!” yelled Jae Duc. “When you 2 going out?”
“November 31,” answered Virak.
“Uh, Lovely man,” said Sun Yong.
“Stop here Sun Yong?” said Virak.
“November doesn’t have a 31st.”
“What?” asked Virak surprised? He looked at the calendar. November ended on the 30th. He looked
Around but Sokunthea had already left. He started cursing while the others tried to hold back their laughter.

November 23, 1998
“This meeting of Bong thom is now in session,” announced Sun Won to the main members of the group, along with the new recruits. His voice got their attention and they quickly focused their attention on Sun Won. Sun Won looked to see if Liday was there. He was. Sun Won gave a little smile to him. He didn’t know why but when he looks at Liday his mind would replace Liday’s face with Lida’s.“So any new business?” he asked the members.
“Yes,” answered Jae Sunn. “The Black Dragons have killed some of our members and took away some of our businesses.”
“Damn it!” yelled Sun Won as he pounded his fist on the table. “We’ll just have to see that this Black Dragon matter will be solved. Lovely man you, Sun Yong, Su WON and the 2 new recruits deal with the businesses. Jae Sunn, Jae Duc, and Liday will come with me.” Everyone looked at Sun Won strangely. Virak began to speak.

“Uh, Brother. You want to take Liday along?”
Sun Won glared at him. “Yeah. Anyone here have any objections?” No one answered.
“Meeting adjourned,” announced Sun Won and everyone went to work.

********** PART 25 **********

I followed the Black Bong thom to a dark alley. I was surprised Sun Won wanted to take me along, considering I was one of the weakest members. I thought I would get to work with the White Bong thom in businesses.
“Hey kid,” said Jae Duc to me.
“What is it?” He handed me a gun.
“Use this to protect yourself.”

My eyes widened as I held the cold metal. Please don’t let me use it, I prayed silently. Sun Won walked over to Liday. “Okay, the co leaders of Black Dragons are meeting around here. You’ll recognize them by the dragon tattoos on their arms. If you see them, just shoot them as they come out.” “But brother Lonely man, I-“ but my words were cut off the sound of gunshots. POW
“Get down!” yelled Sun Won as he covered me. Then he started firing. I covered my ears and watched Sun Won in disbelief. He had shot 4 people and killed 3. Sun Won stood up smiling. I couldn’t believe it. I was in love with a cold-blooded killer. Jae Sunn and Jae Duc killed some other members and JW told them to kill every single Black Dragon member. One Black Dragon member laid hurt on the ground. Sun Won pulled him up by the collar of his shirt and pointed a gun to his head.
“Tell me who’s your leader punk or else I’ll blow your brains out.”

The young boy was whimpering. I felt sorry for him. “Please don’t kill me. My leader is Pin Tae Won.”
“Who the hell is that?” asked Sun Won angrily. “What the hell does he have against me?” “He’s the godson of Mr. Pin, who’s one of the heirs of the Pin Hotel Empire and he came to get the inheritance back from you.” I listened to what the boy was saying. I never knew that Sun Won’s uncle had a god son. From what I had heard, Sun Won’s uncle had passed away 2 months ago and he had a heir. The heir is the leader of Black Dragon, I figured out.

“That bastard,” said Sun Won. “He’s dead and he still has someone after me.” When Sun Won wasn’t looking, the Black Dragon boy had pulled out a knife, ready to stab Sun Won. I didn’t have time to think so I reacted instantly. I shot the boy. He fell back in pain but managed to get up and run away. Sun Won looked at me surprised. He gave me a smile. “Good job, Liday,” he said walking over to me and patted me on the back. I was appalled at what I had done. I couldn’t answer him so I just handed him back the gun. Just then Jae Sunn and Jae Duc came back to us.

“Got them all Brother,” said Jae Sunn smiling as he did fancy handwork with his gun.
“Good,” said Sun Won. “Liday here just saved my life. I knew it was a good idea to bring him along.” “Really?” asked Jae Duc.
“Nice work kid.” Then he punched me lightly on the shoulder. When we made it back to the hotel, I ran into my room using my respirator and swallowed a pill. Afterwards, I took a shower. I felt so dirty because what I had done. I knew this was going to be only one of many dirty work I would have to do to stay with Sun Won.

********** PART 26 **********

A few months later…
During this time, since I saved Sun Won’s life, he began to trust me more and confided in me with everything. I was like his new best friend. Bong thom continued traveling to many places and recruited new members. More war between Bong thom and Black Dragons broke out. Many businesses were shut down and more members were killed from both sides. All the blood shed and fighting was getting to me but I held on. All the members of Bong thom accepted me but sometimes I overhear them whisper that I’m gay. I didn’t care as long as I had Sun Won.

April 29, 1999
Finally, after many days of hard work, Bong thom finally got a day of rest. The leaders always hang out
together but Sun Won always included me. We were at this fancy restaurant and were all having a good time. Jae Duc was telling us funny jokes. He stopped in the middle of a joke as he saw the Black Dragon leaders enter the restaurant. Tension was felt by everyone. The Black Dragons sat down across from us. Sun Won and Tae Won were giving each other glare. Underneath the tables, we pulled out our guns. I knew the Black Dragons were doing the same. We didn’t know which side fired the first shot but before we knew it, bullets were flying everywhere. Sun Won covered me as we ran out of the restaurant safely. We met up with the other 5 Bong thom in a dark alley. The Black Dragons were still chasing us.

“Damn it Brother! What should we do?” asked Jae Sunn.
“Kill them all!” shouted Sun Won.
“There are too many,” Su Yong shouted back.
“Let’s just hide out in this motel.” We all ran and hid in this cheap motel’s restaurant. The Black Dragons lost us and continued searching.

“I don’t believe this!” said Sun Won furiously. “I, Lonely man Pin, of Bong thom have to hide down here in this *Chhkout*roach motel like I’m a dog or something!”
“Calm down,” I said to him gently, patting his back.
“It’s not so bad.”
“Yeah Brother,” said Virak. “It’s only for one night. Besides, we’ll make them pay for this.” All of us looked around. There was only one bed. I could tell none of us wanted the floor because it was disgusting and reeked of something.
“I ain’t taking the floor!” all of us shouted in unison.
“There’s only one bed though,” said Su Won.
“Look on the bright side,” said Jae Duc as he laid out the sheets on the bed.

“At least it’s king size.” I nodded my head. “It’ll be tight but we’ll all have to try and fit in.” Soon it was Jae Sunn, Jae Duc, Sun Won, me, Virak, Sun Yong, and Su Won laying down side by side uncomfortably on the bed. We were laying down one by one and the others looked at me strangely as I ran to be the next person who lay near Sun Won. Soon everyone fell asleep except me. I made sure everyone was asleep before I made my move. I bent over to kiss Sun Won lightly on the lips. Then I laid my head down on his chest to hear his heart beat. I sighed contentedly and I’d looked at his face, I’d really love him so much honey. Then suddenly I felt Sun Won’s leg twitch. Oh no. I knew what he was about to do. His 360. I placed my entire body on top of his because I didn’t want to get kicked. As Sun Won did his 360, he kicked everyone except me off the bed. As always when Sun Won was done, he had a huge smile on his face. Then he held onto me tightly. I was overwhelmed with happiness. The others must have been exhausted because none of them woke up except Jae Duc. He opened his eyes sleepily and said,
“Huh?” “You’re dreaming,” I whispered to him. He nodded his head and went back to sleep. Soon I drifted off to sleep too.

********** PART 27 **********

Next Morning…
May 1, 1999
Sun Won began to stir. He woke up finding Liday holding onto him tightly. Sun Won widened his eyes and gently unraveled Liday’s arms and legs off of him. The guys already called Liday gay and he didn’t want them to think he’s gay too. He sat up and saw 5 of the Bong thom leaders laying on the floor. Then Virak began to wake up. He sat up and looked around.

“Gross! How the hell did I end up down here?” Sun Won shrugged his shoulders. Then Jae Duc woke up. “Damn, my butt hurts. It feels like someone kicked it last night.”
Then one by one everyone woke up. “P.U.!” yelled Jae Sunn. “This floor stinks!” Everyone started laughing.
“Sorry you guys,” said Sun Won laughing. “I must have done a 360 and kicked you all off.”

“How come you didn’t fall off Liday?” asked Su Yong.
Uh, oh, I thought. “I did,” I answered him. “But I got back up and went to sleep on the bed again.”
“Really?” asked Sun Won. “I didn’t even know. I just went right on sleeping.” Sun Won began to study Liday. It was weird but somehow Sun Won had a feeling that Liday knew he does a 360 in his sleep. ‘But that’s impossible,’ he thought to himself. ‘Only Lida knows that and why didn’t Liday say anything about me kicking him?’ Sun Won didn’t know what was going on with Liday but he knew he had to find out. We all got up and ready to leave the room. The coast seemed clear so we walked out unarmed. Big mistake. There was an ambush waiting for us.

“Disperse!” yelled Sun Won and we all ran our separate ways. Black Dragons chased after each one of us. I lost the Black Dragon member that was chasing me but I didn’t want to go back the hotel room without Sun Won so I turned back to get him. When I found Sun Won, he was backed up against the wall by a Black Dragon. It was the leader, Tae Won. He was telling Sun Won to bow down and BEGS for mercy but Sun Won ended up spitting in his face. Tae Won got angry and pulled the knife back to stab Sun Won in his throat. I ran as fast as I could and knocked Tae Won down. He dropped the knife and fell to the floor with me. As he fell, he used the handled of the knife to knock Sun Won unconscious. Tae Won got up glaring at me.
“Do you know who you’re messing with?” he asked me angrily.
I glared at him back unflinching. “I’ll make you pay for hurting Sun Won.”

“Oh you must be the gay Bong thom member I’ve heard so much about,” said Tae Won laughing.
“You’re afraid your *Chhkout* leader would die leaving you alone?”
That made me really angry. I didn’t care that he called me gay but calling Sun Won a *Chhkout* ticked me off. Since he was distracted, I grabbed the hand he was holding the sword with, and made him stab him selves. He cried out in shock and pain. He pulled knife out of him. Tae Won pushed me away and cuts me in the knee with his knife. I fell down and saw him raise THE KNIFE above my head. I was going to die. Then suddenly a voice screamed out,
“Gangster!” It made Tae Won run off. I looked over to see who it was. It was Sokunthea screaming for the cops. I saw her looking at me sighing and walked away.
“SoKunthea!” I screamed for her. Sokunthea looked at me strangely, as she approached me.
“Do I know you?” I nodded my head and motioned for her to come near me. When she did, I whispered in her ear,
“It’s me, Lida.”
“Lida? But you’re a guy!” she yelled back at me.
“Look at me closely.” When she did, her yes widened as she grabbed a hold of me.
“Lida, it is you!” I turned her back to face me.
“Please help me bring Sun Won back to the hotel.” Sokunthea made a face of disgust.
“What are you doing with the Bong thom leader and why are you dressed like a guy?”
“I’ll explain later,” I told her. We both put Sun Won’s arms around us as we carried him back. Along the way we found Virak unconscious on the ground, bleeding. I set Sun Won down gently and lifted Virak up. “Virak!” I said, shaking him. He was hurt badly.
“SoKunthea, please do me a favor. You carry Virak while I carry Sun Won.”
Sokunthea looked at me reluctantly but then nodded. I lifted Sun Won onto my back and carried him back to the Chan Sunway Hotel. My leg was still bleeding from the cut and I was limping.
“Lida, can you carry him?” SoKunthea asked me, concerned.
“I’ll be fine,” I answered her as we made it back.

********** PART 28 **********

I took Sun Won back to his room while Sokunthea took Virak back to his. I washed Sun Won’s cuts and nursed his wounds. When he was bandaged, I sat down on the chair next to his bed. Then suddenly, I couldn’t breathe. One of my attacks is coming on and I didn’t have my respirator with me. My heart was aching so painfully that I was gasping in pain. But then I remembered Sun Won had a respirator. I searched his pockets and sure enough, there it was. I started pumping it quickly and air entered my lungs. My vision cleared and I began to breathe easier. Then I put it back into his pocket. My touch made Sun Won stir. He began to wake up. He looked at me.
“Liday?” he asked weakly. I nodded my head.
“Yes, it’s me brother.” Sun Won lifted himself up.
“Where am I?”
“We’re back at our hotel.”
“Oh,” Sun Won said as he looked at my leg.
“What happened to your knee?”
I looked down at it. It was bleeding through my pants. “It’s nothing Brother. I’ll be okay in a few days.”
“Did Tae Won do this to you?” I nodded my head.
Sun Won pounded his fist on his desk.
“Damn him! I’ll get him back.”
“It’s okay brother,” I said calming him down.
“By the way,” he asked me suddenly, “how did you end up finding me? Weren’t you supposed to come back here by yourself?” His question hit me by surprise. I answered him truthfully.

“I came back to look for you because I was worried you might be in danger.” I saw Sun Won look at me awkwardly and inched himself away from me. He thinks I’m gay, I thought.
“Uh, thanks for coming back to save me then,” Sun Won said to Liday awkwardly. Liday nodded and left his room. Sun Won lets out a sigh. He loved Liday as a friend and definitely nothing more. He didn’t want Liday has any thoughts. Instinctively Sun Won reached into his pocket to check to see if his respirator was still there. It was but it was different. Sun Won stared at it with wide eyes. His once filled respirator was now only half full with air. Someone had been using it.

********** PART 29 **********

Later that evening Sun Won posted a note on my door telling me to meet him. It was 8 p.m. and I knocked the door to his room.
“Come in,” said Sun Won. I entered his room, not knowing what he was going to say.

“Follow me,” he ordered. He left the room and I followed him. He took me to the beach that was near our hotel. Then he walked over to a spot where there were two rocks side by side. I caught my breath. This looks exactly like our spot in Phnom Penh, I thought.

“Come here and sit next to me, Liday,” said Sun Won to me, patting the rock next to him. I sat down near him and closed my eyes as I breathed in the salty sea air. Sun Won began to study Liday. ‘He looks like Lida in a way,’ he thought. ‘Could he be Lida in another form?’ Sun Won didn’t believe in reincarnation but Liday was too much like Lida for him. He wanted to see if somehow Liday was Lida so he had to test him. “Liday, you want to hear a story?”

“Sure,” said Liday eagerly. Sun Won smiled as he told his story.
“There once was this rich boy who came from a messed up family. He had no friends at all. Then one day he met this little girl who became his friend. She was really nice to him, unlike his family, so he began to adopt her as his sister.” Sun Won paused right there to see Liday’s reaction. My smile faded when Sun Won began his story. He was talking about our life in Phnom Penh. Then I figured out he was testing me. The respirator, I thought. I must have drained it when I was using it so now he suspects me. I steadied myself and tried my best to give no reaction. Sun Won stared at Liday, who appeared to have no reaction to the story.

“Well what do you think?” Sun Won asked him.
“That’s a cute story, brother,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. Sun Won continued.
“Do you know why he took extra care of his sister?” Liday shook his head no. “It’s because she has this heart problem and needed this respirator to breathe.” He took out the respirator from his pocket and showed it to Liday. Again no reaction.
“Poor girl,” said Liday.

“Yes, poor girl,” said Sun Won sadly.
“She died a few years later.” I looked at Sun Won sadly. I knew Sun Won felt bad because of my death but since I’m no one special to him, it wouldn’t matter if he knew the truth that Lida was still alive and with him right now. Then Sun Won took out a stone and handed me one. I rubbed the white marble stone for a while. “Throw it,” he told me. I shook my head no. To me it was like a present so I didn’t throw it but just kept it in my pocket. Sun Won threw his into the ocean. It skipped 3 times.
“Perfect,” he said.

“Why is it perfect?” I asked him. This time I wished he would tell me the significance of the 3-skip.
“When the stone skips 3 times, it means 3 words. I love you.” I looked at Sun Won in an overwhelming joy. Did Sun Won love me? He had thrown the rock and it skipped 3 times many times before.

“So did the rich boy ever really love his sister?” I asked Sun Won. Sun Won looked at me.
“Of course he does. He has a lot of brotherly love for her.”
“Oh,” I whispered softly. My heart began to ache. As Sun Won continued staring at the ocean, I began to walk home with a heavy heart. Sun Won began to shake his head. ‘Lida’s dead already so why am I denying that I love her?’ he thought to himself as he stared out to the ocean.

“Actually, Liday, the rich boy loved his sister the first day he met her but he’s such a weak person. He never could admit his feelings for her and just waited for her to say that she loves him first.” Sun Won turned around and saw that Liday had left. ‘Oh well,’ he thought as he headed back to the hotel.

********** PART 30 ***********

Since some of you wanted to hear more about Virak and SoKunthea, this chapter is a little side story.
Virak woke up aching. He realized he was back at the Chan Sunway Hotel and in his room.

“How did I make it back here?” he asked himself. Then he realized he was wearing nothing but his boxers. His bathroom door suddenly opened and out came SoKunthea.
“Hey!” he shouted as he pulled a blanket over to cover himself. Sokunthea rolled her eyes.

“It’s too late for that. I’ve seen it all already,” she told him as she yanked the blanket away. Virak crossed his arms over his chest.
“So you took advantage of me in my weak state?”
“So what if I did?” she snapped at him.
“That means you have to responsible married me and support me while I give birth to your child.”
Sokunthea couldn’t help but laugh. Virak smiled at her. ‘I guess he isn’t so bad,’ she thought.
“You know,” said Virak quietly.
“You didn’t have to upset me like that when you said you’ll go out with me.” So kunthea looked at him.
“I had to! You were such an arrogant jerk and you wouldn’t leave me alone.”
“Maybe it’s because I like you too much to leave you alone,” he replied back.
Sokunthea blushed a little and decided to change the subject.
“Give me your arm,” she said to him.
Virak’s right arm was bleeding and Sokunthea began to wash the cut.
“Ow!” he yelled in pain, pulling his arm back.
“That hurts.”
“Does it?” Sokunthea asked him concerned.
“I’m sorry.” She leaned over to blow on his cut. Virak stared at her the entire time. He felt warm and shy being around her. He never felt this way for a girl before. She was nice to him and not upset him like she usually does. He really liked that feeling. Sokunthea gently placed his arm into a cast.

“There,” she said.
“All better.”
“You know,” said Virak softly.
“Everyone says kisses make pain feel better and go away.”
When Sokunthea was nursing Virak, she developed a liking for him and his nice body was a good addition. “Really?” she asked skeptically.
“I don’t believe you.”
“Why don’t you test it out then?” he challenged her smiling.
“Maybe I will,” she said, flirting back.
“Where does it hurt?” Virak pointed to his knee. Sokunthea kissed it. Then he pointed to his hand. She kissed it too. Slowly he pointed to his forehead, which she also kissed. He worked his way down to his nose. Sokunthea couldn’t help but laugh as she kissed his nose lightly. Virak’s nose was broken. Then he pointed to his lips. Sokunthea was about to kiss it lightly but then Virak held onto her tightly to deepen the kiss. Sokunthea felt drawn to him so she didn’t push him away. He turned her over so she lay down on his bed, with him on top of her. His hand went under the back of her shirt and he stopped there. Sokunthea continued kissing him and ran her fingers through his hair. Since she wasn’t stopping him, he was about to continue when…
*Tok tok tok*
‘I’m going to kill that person,’ thought Virak as he broke off the kiss.

“Yeah? What is it?” he yelled.
“Brother Lonely man wants all of us to go down to the dining room for a meeting,” said Sun Yong.
“Okay, I’ll be there in 5 minutes!” Virak yelled back. When he heard footsteps of Sun Yong leaving, he kissed SoKunthea once more.
“Sorry honey, I have to go but I’ll be right back.” Sokunthea nodded and helped him into his clothes.

********** PART 31 **********

“Order Bong thom!” yelled Sun Won.
“Ooh, ooh,” said Jae Duc. “I want some kimbab!”
Sun Won glared at him. Jae Duc shuts up.
“Now I want to talk to all of you about Liday. He’s only been here for a few months but he had saved my life twice and not to mention, Virak’s.” Virak slapped Liday on the back and smiled.
“Now,” continued Sun Won. “What do you want Liday? A car, money, women? Tell us and it’s yours.” “Yeah,” said Virak. “Just name it little brother and it’s yours.” I thought about it for a while. The only thing I wanted was Sun Won but I couldn’t say that. Since he was suspecting me so much there was only one thing I should ask for.

“I want a woman,” I told them.
They all opened their mouths in shock.
“Alright Liday, you dog!” yelled Virak, breaking the silence.
“At least you’re proving to us that you’re a man now!”
“Okay,” said Sun Won slowly.
“Who’s the girl?”
“SoKunthea,” I announced.
I saw Virak’s smiling face turn mad.
“Who do you want?” Virak asked me in disbelief. I repeated myself.

“SoKunthea.” Virak grabbed me by the collar of my shirt.
“Out of all the girls you could have picked, why her?” he yelled at me. I knew Virak liked Sokunthea but Sokunthea was the only person that could help me.
“I happened to like her too,” I answered him.
“Besides, you all said I can have anything I want, and I want SoKunthea.”
“He’s right,” said Sun Won softly.
“We can’t go back on our words.” Sun Won clapped his hands for attention.

“So Sokunthea now belongs to my little brother Liday. Anyone from Bong thom who touches her, the penalty is death.” Su Won and Sun Yong had to hold Virak back from attacking me.
“I thought you were my friend!” he yelled as they took him away. I sighed and headed for my room. Sun Won looked at Liday as he was walking away.

“Liday.”
“Yes Brother?” “Are you sure that’s what you want?”
“Yes Brother. I’ve never been more sure in my life.” Then Liday left. When I made it back into my room, Sokunthea was in there waiting for me.
“What the hell is going on?” she asked me. I knew it was time to tell her my story. When I finished, she was bawling like a baby. I handed her a tissue.
“Th…that is S…so…romantic,” Sokunthea said, sobbing. I patted her head as she leaned on me.
“No, it’s not.” “So you’re not going to tell Sun Won who you really are?” I shook my head.
“It wouldn’t matter anyways.”
“How do you know? If he knows you’re still alive, who knows? He might fall in love with you.”
“Maybe,” I began slowly.
“But then he’d love me out of pity and not out of love. I don’t want that.”

“Oh.” Sokunthea stared at the floor. “I wonder if Mr. Lovely man really likes me.”
“What?!” I asked in surprise. She looked at me sheepishly.
“Oh, I forgot to tell you that Mr. Lovely man and I are beginning to fall for each other.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t have a chance to. Besides, it just happened.”
“I’m sorry So Kunthea.”
“It’s okay,” she said as she hugged me.
“We’ll just have to put our little romance on hold for a while. You’re more important.”
“No, I’ll go tell-“My words were cut off by my lack of air. This time my attack was worse than it ever had been before. SoKunthea stared at me frightened.
“Lida! What’s happening?”
“she…can’t breathe…” I managed to say. She lifted me up.
“Come on, I’ll take you to the hospital.”
“Don’t let the others see me,” I said to her before I collapsed into total darkness.

********** PART 32 **********

Slowly I began to open my eyes. I closed them instantly because the light reflecting me was so bright. Am I on the other side? I wondered. I managed to make my eyes open. I found myself strapped to a pulse racer machine and an IV fluid was hooked up to me. I started to look around my room. I was in a hospital and I saw that my door was open slightly ajar. Then I heard 2 voices talking and I began to eavesdrop.
“It’s a miracle that she’s still alive,” said the doctor.
“Is she going to be okay?” Sokunthea asked him.
“Well, according to these test results, her heart will expire any time now. We need to get her a heart transplants soon because she’s past overdue for 2 years already. I made some calls and there is a matching donor for her in England.”
“I’ll have to talk to her about it.”
“Please do,” said the doctor.
“It’s her only hope of living.” Sokunthea slowly entered my room. She stared at me with wide eyes.
“You heard everything Lida?”
I nodded my head weakly and took the air respirator off my mouth.
“You can tell him to forget about it. I’m not going to England for a couple of months to get surgery.” Sokunthea ran over and shook me.
“Lida, are you crazy? You have to or you’ll die.”
“No,” I told her stubbornly.
“It was so hard for me to find Sun Won and I won’t let go of him just like that.” So kunthea began to cry.
“I don’t want you to die though.” I looked at her sadly.
“You’re my only good friend SoKunthea. I know you’ll be the perfect girl for Virak.” I yanked the IV tube off my arm.
“Come on. Let’s go home.”

A few months later…
My heart condition began to grow worse. My attacks became more frequently and undetected. It would happen during odd times like when I’m showering or having dinner with the Bong thom guys. Luckily Sokunthea was always there by my side to cover for me. Virak hated me. I can tell by the way he acts. He probably thinks that Sokunthea really likes Liday (that’s me). What he doesn’t know is Sokunthea truly does love him and it breaks her heart seeing him go out with other girls. I think he’s doing that to make her jealous. As for Sun Won, he began to grow distant towards me. He wouldn’t talk to me much and he’s been depressed about something lately. I wish I could know what was bothering him because it hurts me to see him sad like that. Secrets are definitely hard to keep. Especially, ones that you have to cover everyday. I should have known that my disguise and heart attacks would be exposed soon but it just came to me unexpectedly…

********** PART 33 **********

June 15, 1999
Sun Won was in his depressed state again. There was this empty void inside him that he couldn’t erase. It was a recurring pain that never seemed to end. He felt lonely. Whenever he sees Liday and Sokunthea together, it disturbs him. He couldn’t figure out what it was but he kept finding something wrong with the picture. Then a knock came on his door.
“Come in,” he said, without bothering to see who it was. I entered Sun Won’s room holding a tray of food. Now these days since he was in his isolated stage, he didn’t eat much anymore. I was beginning to worry. I didn’t have much time left with him so I wanted to take care of him the best I could with the time I still had left.

“Brother? Are you hungry? I brought you some food.” Sun Won turned around to see who it was. It was Liday.
”Just put it down.” Liday placed it down before Sun Won, Chicken curry, rice and curry. ‘How does he know I like these food?’ Sun Won thought.
“Take it away I don’t want it.”
“But Brother, you haven’t ate for days. Please eat a little bit.”
“I said take it away!” Sun Won yelled, his anger exploding. He knocked over the tray of food. It ended up spilling all over Liday. Sun Won and Liday stared at each other. Neither of them knew what to say. Liday leaned over to clean up the spilled food and then left. Sun Won fell back in his chair. He ran his hands through his hair frustrated. Liday was too much like Lida that it was driving him crazy. Sun Won knew he was out of line though, so he began to walk to Liday’s room to apologize. What a mess, I thought as I stripped out of my clothes. I soaked myself into a hot water bath, hoping it could wash away all my troubles. When I was done with my bath, I wrapped myself up in a towel and got out of the tub. Then I heard my room door open and then close. Must be SoKunthea, I thought as I began to put my clothes on. Sun Won entered Liday’s room, not knowing what to say. He wasn’t good at apologizing. He looked around and didn’t see Liday anywhere. Then he heard the sound of water draining. He figured Liday must be in the bathroom. Sun Won opened the door slightly and saw Liday’s bare back. He shuts the door quietly and began to leave. He planned to apologize later but then his mind began to sort out what he had just seen. Liday’s back had an ‘S’ on it. Sun Won breaks the open the door to the bathroom. I was buttoning up my long sleeve shirt when my door suddenly opened. I stared at Sun Won in shock but then remembered I wasn’t completely dressed yet. I buttoned up the remaining buttons and then faced him.

“Brother!” I said surprised. “What are you doing here?” I caught Sun Won looking down at my shirt. I had buttoned it all wrong and a great deal of my body was showing. Oh hell, I thought.
“Brother, I can explain-“ I began to tell him but I never had a chance to. Sun Won stared at Liday’s exposed body. Without thinking, he ripped open Liday’s shirt finding that Liday was indeed a woman. Liday stood still, stunned at what Sun Won had just done. He turned Liday’s back to him. There it was. His ‘L.’ “Li…da?” he asked uncertainly, afraid to hope. I didn’t know what I was more embarrassed from letting Sun Won see me exposed or being caught. In all my life I had never been angry at Sun Won but I didn’t know why I reacted impulsively. As I held my shirt together, I slapped Sun Won across the face hard with my other hand. His head snapped to the side. He held his cheeks as he turned to face me.

“How could you do this to me Sun Won?” I asked him screaming. “Get out! Get out!” I started to push him out the door. Sun Won was in shock. Lida, he thought. He grabbed her arms as she pushed him out.

“Lida, don’t! Is it really you?” I glared at him. As if he knew, Sun Won took off his jacket and puts it around my shoulders. I zipped it up, covering myself.
“Yes Sun Won, it is me Lida.”
“But I thought you were dead.”
“I didn’t die. I faked my death.”
“Why?”
“So I could go to Korea.”
“You came all the way from Phnom Penh to find me? Why didn’t you just tell me who you are?” Sun Won looked at Lida, who had tears coming out of her eyes. He was about to brush them off for her but then Lida pushed his hand away.

“That’s the only way I could do to be with you. Join Bong thom.” Sun Won stared at Lida as she continued talking.
“After you left me all alone in Phnom Penh, my life became so miserable. Not because of my step mom, but because of you. I finally found a way to leave Phnom Penh to find you. I was so happy when I thought about how I could see you again. I thought-“ Sun Won began to feel a rush of mixed emotions. Lida’s words made him sad but seeing her alive in front of him, made him want to hold onto her and never let her go. He paused to let her continue.

"-I thought that we could be together like we were….sister and brother in Phnom Penh. But obviously, I was wrong. You had all those girls around you that you’ve completely forgotten about me.” Sun Won felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. Each one of Lida’s words stabbed him like a knife.

“Lida, you don’t understand. I-“
Lida didn’t wait for his explanation and ran. Sun Won chased after her.

“Lida!” he yelled as he chased her out of the hotel.
“Brother,” said Su Won as he saw Sun Won ran by him. Sun Won pushed him out of the way. Sokunthea ran up the 5 Bong thom.
“What happened?” Su Won shrugged his shoulders.
“I don’t know. Sun Won was chasing Liday and kept screaming Lida.

” Sokunthea stumbled back and Virak caught her. ‘Oh no, poor Lida,’ she thought. She turned around to see Virak looking at her sadly. Sokunthea moved close to him and held onto him tight. Neither one of them let’s go…

********** PART 34 **********

June 16, 1999
It was 3 a.m. and Sun Won had lost Lida. As he chased her down the streets he lost track of where she ran off to. “Lida!” he continued shouting. His cries echoed throughout the streets.
A lot of people heard him yelling. So did the Black Dragons. Tae Won silently crept behind Sun Won. Sun Won was all alone. Tae Won gave an evil smile. He had a plan. He and his sidekick began to set up a trap for Sun Won, which they knew he would fall for. “Lida!” I covered my ears. I didn’t want to hear Sun Won’s voice. I was so confused. All I ever wanted was to be with Sun Won but now it’s all complicated. I leaned back against the alley wall. I needed time to think. Sun Won ran through the alleys as he continued searching for Lida. Then he ran into Tae Won. Out of the darkness, Tae Won stepped out.

“Looking for someone?” he asked.
“Yeah,” said Sun Won, glaring at him.
“I’m looking for Liday”.
“The punk that stabbed me?” Tae Won asked furiously.
“Yeah” “I got him.”
“You do?” Sun Won asked surprised.
“Hand him over!”
“There he is,” said Tae Won, pointing to a figure up ahead. From the back it did look like Liday but little did Sun Won know that it was all a setup.

“Lida?” Sun Won whispered as he approached the person. It was a Black Dragon member. He grabbed a hold of Sun Won around the neck and began shooting Sun Won continually in the stomach. I looked out from where I was hiding when I heard gunshots. “Sun Won!” I screamed as I ran out from where I hid. My scream threw the Black Dragon member off guard. Seeing his chance, Sun Won grabbed the gun from him and shot him in the head. He fell to the floor dead. Tae Won started to run away but Sun Won aimed a shot directly at his heart. Tae Won fell down dead too. Sun Won looked at me and then collapsed to the cold ground. He wasn’t able to hold on any longer. Rain began to pour.

“Sun Won!” I screamed, shaking him. He was still breathing but barely. I lifted Sun Won up on my back and
carried him to a nearby hospital. The rain drenched us and it grew hard for me to carry him because of the weight. However, I managed to make it. They rushed him into the emergency room. Four hours later the doctor came out.
“How is he?” I asked as I ran up to him.

“He was shot 4 times in the stomach region. As you know, a person needs at least one kidney to survive but both of his are destroyed. Unless we can find a donor, he’ll have to die.”
“Give him mine,” I told the doctor right away.
“Are you sure?” I nodded my head.
“Because of your heart condition, if we have this operation that means you can die instantly during the transfer.” I nodded my head again.

“I understand. Please let’s have the operation now.” They tested me and luckily I was compatible with Sun Won. Six hours later the surgery was completed. It’s a miracle that I’m still alive. I knew not for long though. I woke up finding myself in a hospital bed with Sun Won on a bed next to me. He was still in a coma. I got out of bed and went near him. I stroked his hair gently as I bent down to kiss him.
“I still love you Sun Won,” I whispered to him. Then I left the room, going to the last place I wanted to be.

********** PART 35 **********

Sun Won began to wake up. He looked around and realized he was in a hospital room. Slowly his door began to open and the rest of Bong thom entered his room.
“Brother?” asked Virak. “Are you okay?” Sun Won nodded his head weakly as he pulled himself up.

“I’m okay now.” Jae Sunn walked over to his bedside.
“We’re so sorry brother Lonely man. We didn’t know what happened until this morning. We got revenge for you though when we wiped out the entire Black Dragon hideout.”
“It’s okay,” he told them softly as they all bowed down. Then a knock came to his door. The doctor came in. “Oh good, you’re awake,” he said. Sun Won looked at him.

“Thanks for saving me Doc.”
“No need to thank me. Your girlfriend is the one who saved your life.” Sun Won began to panic.
“What did she do?” “She could have gotten a chance to go to England to get a heart transplant but she decided to stay to give you her kidney instead.”
“The girl…where is she?” he asked frantically. The doctor looked around the room.
“She was supposed to be in here-“ Sun Won got out of bed and ran out of the room, leaving everyone staring after him.
“Brother!” all the 5 Bong thom shouted but Sun Won had already left. He ran searching for Lida. He knew where she went.

********** Part 36 **********

June 17, 1999
Please let Sun Won be okay, I prayed to myself silently. Hopefully my prayers will be answered. So is this the end? My heart never changed because it was still the same one I loved Sun Won with. I couldn’t bear the thought of trading it with someone else. I was so confused. Had I finished what I had really come for? What will happen to my love for Sun Won? I didn’t know these answers.

I felt weaker and my pen fell from my fingers. I stopped my story right there. Truth is, I didn’t know how to end it so I might as well leave it unfinished. I took off my cap and clothes. I was wearing a long white flowing dress underneath. It was the kind I always wanted to wear when I thought I was going to marry Sun Won. My hair had grown out a little bit. It grazed my chin. I started to put on some light make up and combed my hair. I don’t know why I’m getting dressed up for but I knew I wanted to die looking like Chan Lida, and not Liday.I looked at my reflection again. At least I look like a girl now, I thought with a little laugh. When I was done, I leaned giant the hard rock and wrapped my arms around it, pretending it was Sun Won. Then I heard a voice yelling out my name.

“Lida!” I recognized the voice. Sun Won. I smiled, knowing at least he’ll be the last person I’ll see before I go. Sun Won looked around the beach and saw a figure in a white dress. ‘Lida,’ he thought as he ran towards her. It was Lida. He lifted her into his arms and onto his lap as he sat down on the rocks.
‘Lida,’ he whispered to her and kissed her on the neck and face. Tears began to fall down his face.

All of my energy seemed to have been drained as I forced myself to open my eyes. My face felt wet but it wasn’t from my tears and it wasn’t raining either. My vision was kind of blurred and I couldn’t see Sun Won too well. I reached up to touch his face. It was wet.

“Sun Won,” I whispered to him.
“Please don’t cry. You’re scaring me.”
“I’ve never seen you cry before.” Sun Won looked down at Lida, through his tear-filled eyes.
“I’m so sorry Lida.”
“Don’t say you’re sorry,” she whispered back to him.
“You’ve done nothing wrong.” Sun Won shook his head.
“I’m so sorry. You’ve done so much for me and I haven’t even realized it. I haven’t done anything for you except put you through a lot of pain.” I reached up wipe away Sun Won’s tears.
“I didn’t expect anything back from you brother. But I want to know why did you leave me in Phnom Penh? I could have called the wedding off if you didn’t want to marry me nor loving me.” I felt Sun Won’s grip on
me tighten.

“I didn’t mean to leave you Lida,” answered Sun Won, his voice shaking.

“I couldn’t take my dad anymore. My grandpa had given me his inheritance and I planned on taking you and Virak with me. I didn’t tell you about it because I was afraid you wouldn’t leave your family for me. When I came to your house to get you, my uncle’s men were there waiting for me and chased me to the docks. I escaped but I wanted to go back but couldn’t. I could have put your life in danger. This isn’t the first time I’ve cried Lida. I cried when I knew I was going to be separated from you.” Despite the pain, I managed to smile. Sun Won didn’t want to leave me, I thought.

“Look Sun Wonee, I’m wearing the dress I always wanted to wear if we had gotten married.” Sun Won looked at me.
“You’re beautiful Lida,” he said to me.
“If everything would have gone as planned, we could have been married here in Korea.” One thing was still bothering me. I think I managed to hold onto my life this long because of this question.

“Sun Wonee, do you love me? I mean romantically, and not as your sister.” Sun Won looked down at Lida. She was beautiful. His heart ached when he saw how pale she was. He realized she never did know that he had loved her all along.
“Yes, Lida,” he told her.

“I loved you since the first day we met. I loved you then and I had never stopped loving you.” He bent down to kiss her. My heart was deepened to a warm bliss. Sun Won said he loved me, I told myself as I felt him kiss me. Then a cold realization washed over me but I didn’t really care. I always thought that I was hurt when I didn’t receive Sun Won’s love. Instead, I found out my pain came from when I didn’t give Sun Won enough love. I haven’t told Sun Won I loved him yet.

“Sun Won,” I said to him as he looked down at me. “Thank you for making my dream comes true by saying that you love me. I know you’re lying and just saying it to repay me but you didn’t have to. I did it all because I-I-“ I was losing my voice. Not now, please, I prayed as tears fell down my face. I need to tell him before I go. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the white marble stone Sun Won had given to me when I WAS LIDAY. I pointed towards the ocean to make Sun Won look. I threw the stone with all my remaining strength. It skipped 3 times.
‘Perfect,’ I thought as I closed my eyes for the last time. As Sun Won listened to what Lida was saying, he was stunned still. He couldn’t believe his ears. She thought he was saying he loved her as payment of what she had done for him. More tears fell down his face as he shook his head. Then when Lida pointed out to the ocean, Sun Won saw her throw the stone he had given her. It skipped 3 times. I love you. Sun Won smiled, knowing that Lida loved him too. He had known that she had loved
him all along but she never told it to him either.
“Lida, you don’t understand. I do love you!” he shouted. Then Sun Won looked down at her. She had passed on.
“Lida?” He shook her gently. Her body was still and completely dead.

“Lida!” he screamed in pain. He held onto her tightly, burying his face into her neck. He was crying so loudly and painfully that both their bodies shook. Virak and the others finally made it to where Sun Won and Lida was. They circled Sun Won, who was bent over holding someone they couldn’t see.

“Brother,” said Virak he put his hand on Sun Won’s shoulder.
“Are you okay? Where’s Liday?” Sun Won lifted his head up and Virak saw who Sun Won was holding. He fell back into the sand shocked.

“Chan…Lida?” he asked in disbelief.
“Lida?” the others repeated.
“Liday is Lida?” asked Sun Yong. Sun Won nodded his head.
“She dressed up as a guy to join Bong thom to be with me.”
“You’re right, Lovely man. Lida did love brother Lonely man,” said Jae Duc quietly. Virak got up and hugged both Sun Won’s and Lida’s bodies tightly.
“Why?” he asked crying. Everyone remained silent. Sun Won shook his head. He moved away from Virak and turned to face all of them.
“Bong thom is my family. You guys are all like my brothers. Please be my witness as I make this promise to Lida.” They nodded their heads sadly and listened.
“Lida,” Sun Won began.
“When you were alive, I was never able to tell you that I loved you. Now that you’re gone, you don’t believe I love you. Even though I never showed you the kind of love you wanted me to, it doesn’t mean I didn’t love you with all I have.” Sun Won paused and yanked off the ring around his necklace.

“With Bong thom here as my witnesses, I, Pin Sun Won, take Chan Lida as my wife ‘til eternity. I have nothing to give you Lida except my heart, which belonged to you from the first day we met.” He kissed her lips as he slipped on the ring. The others watched him in silence. They were surprised when because of all the time Sun Won had been their leader; he had never used his real name Sun Won before. They knew he was serious. When it was over, Sun Won lifted Lida up into his arms as he stood up. “As your leader, I have a final announcement to make. I am quitting Bong thom.”
“What?” they all asked in disbelief.
“Brother,” said Su Won.
“Please reconsider.” Sun Won shook his head.
“This is the second time Lida left me. I really can’t go on as your leader. The person I loved the most is taken away from me too soon and she died not knowing that I truly do love her.” The others understood what Sun Won meant. Jae Sunn walked up to Sun Won.

“What do you plan to do then brother Lonely man?”
“I don’t know,” he answered. I’ll be somewhere where I’ll always be with Lida and constantly remind her that I love her. And as for Bong thom, with all the money and businesses we have, I don’t see any reason why we have to commit any more crimes. We each have enough money to spend for the rest of our lives already.” They all nodded. Sun Won placed a hand on Virak’s shoulder.

“Virak,” said Sun Won.
“Yes Brother?” asked Virak.
“If you do love SoKunthea, tell her before it’s too late.”
Virak nodded. “I will.” Sun Won looked at his 5 brothers for the last time.

“This final meeting of Bong thom is now adjourned. I wish you all the best and hope you do find your true love because I have. Good bye.” Sun Won picked up Lida’s book and scribbled something into it. When he was done, he placed it down back on the rock. Then Sun Won lifted Lida’s body up into his arms as he walked away.

“Brother!” shouted Virak. “Where are you going?” Sun Won continued walking and didn’t answer him. The 5 Bong thom watched their leader walks towards the sunset carrying his bride and disappeared. They picked up the book to see what Sun Won had written.

The last entry of Lida’s Story was, “LOOSING THE LOVE” it’s also the title of the song that she really loves to hear every early morning… if you want to know the exactly meaning of this song just come to Love FM 97.50 MHz “You want it you got it only on love FM 97.50 MHz” in the show called Breakfast show with a very pretty and cute voice of Dj. Kitty from 6am to 7.30am.
Phnom Penh, July, 25 2004 by nothing_toxic