Some part of me has died

Some part of me has died

Sitting in the dark night,
There was no candle light
Holding on for this miserable life.
I cried my tears and screamed
till my voice gave up rhythm.
I fell blank and mute,
tears still fell but
I never felt them ever.
My voice allowed whispers,
cries for one more-one more day,
I wished for this to be a dream.
As I layed my aching head down,
I felt nothing beating or lie.
Some part of me has died,
I believe it’s my heart.


You can’t get anything right

You can’t get anything right

Some things in life
Just don’t make sense.
You think you’re smart
But really you’re dense.

You hope to see light,
But you’re stuck in the dark,
You hope the scars fade,
But they leave an ugly mark.

You think it’s love,
But it’s all a lie,
But you still don’t want to leave them,
And just can’t say good-bye.

Like when you get hurt
by who you thought was "the one"
Or when it pours
when you prayed for sun.

Or how about when all you gain
Is pain,
Or when you think you’re normal,
But you’re really insane?

You want to hug them,
But they refuse to hug back,
You think you have it,
but it’s the one thing you lack.

You think you’re brave,
But inside you’re shy,
You try to make them laugh,
But instead they cry.

nothing_toxic: You think they love you,
but they always wanna fight,
Not matter how hard you try,
You can’t get anything right.

However, you can’t get anything right, the faults are mine, most of the time, the faults are mine, I never get anything right… I don’t understand why, why problems are belong to mine, why things can’t be right, why would  problems come my way, and who am I to handle problems…


I’ve always asked myself before I go to sleep and after I wake up as well as when I walk to work.. Keep asking and telling myself when will I be a person to choose my own desires and to walk my life to where I wanna be.. I want a simple life and I want to live my life for what I wanna be…

I come back home after long hours working, I lay down a few minutes on my thin mattress and think of those questions once again.. I go to shower and come back to my place, I ask myself why why why… Isn’t it call insanity? I’m not really sure if you can find me, I’m off to somewhere you may be unable to see. Those mysteries are alive and may be not going to disclose my insanity.
I’m leaving behind and ignored because I’m invisible, you don’t see those falling tears, you don’t feel the way I feel, you don’t know how life would that be.. Cool breeze bring back old memories. Some songs reminded past stories,
Memories are memorized when you are memorized you are collecting
Something without pondering.. I gather lot of memories from those moments, one moment in time and I know I can never turn back the time..
The time that you have never imagined to be, but you were someone may be not going to be… I hope I’m not sleeping in the insanity, my fingers are becoming weak and my eyes are blurry, although my mind get messy.. I wish I’m not a misery.

I hate myself everyday and my memory is lost.. I remember nothing, I know nothing, and I’m nothing… They say sweet insanity is never be… Toxic and nothing toxic..



I’m stuck here waiting
in the darkness of my mind
waiting for all those feelings, any feelings
feelings I dream of felling
I’m waiting for you…
I don’t know when you will find me
and how long you’ve been searching
I’m turning for that connection
I’m sick and tired of waiting
for someone, something, or a feeling
it feels like I’ve been waiting an eternity
feeling half full
but what else am I supposed to do…
so I wait and listen and hope
for the day you’ll find me
here, were I’ve always was and always will be
waiting for you, for me, for us
but still can’t help but wonder,
Are you searching for me ?